griff Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'griff': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 3

   messageicon Advice for office managers: Keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer. That way, when she goes to get one you'll get a great view of her ass.
←Rate | 03-29-2011 08:46 by griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ok, so this girl on Facebook posted a status which read: "How can I get rid of this morning sickness?" Turns out replying, "Try a coat hanger" is a good way to get yourself deleted.
←Rate | 03-29-2011 08:47 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon The kids nowadays don't realize how lucky they are when it comes to porn. They can switch on the computer and have vast amounts in seconds. When I was a kid, I used to have a wank when I typed the digits 55318008 into a calculator
←Rate | 03-29-2011 08:48 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
←Rate | 04-25-2011 07:42 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm going to be the first person to walk on the sun...I know what ur thinking an I've got it all figured out...I'm going at nite
←Rate | 05-09-2011 09:32 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon this morning there was ants all over my counter in the kitchen, I killed them all except one so he could go back tell his friends I'm serious about no ants in my house!
←Rate | 05-10-2011 09:28 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon I saw a charity appeal in the newspaper the other day, and it read “Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water”. And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.
←Rate | 05-11-2011 09:06 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinks Women are magic creatures: they get wet without water, bleed without being injured, give milk without eating grass, can make boneless meat ROCK HARD!
←Rate | 05-12-2011 09:20 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon s a cool dad, that's my thang. I'm hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face
←Rate | 05-18-2011 09:31 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon While cooking dinner tonight I got herbs in my eyes. I am now parsley sighted
←Rate | 05-24-2011 07:44 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon was completely offended, but then you said "no offense," so now everything's cool.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 09:13 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon The following sentence is true: The previous sentence is false. (
←Rate | 05-26-2011 09:27 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon I walked passed the fridge earlier an thought I heard the BeeGees, when I opened the door it was only a chive talking.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 06:20 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon I turned my phone onto "Airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst. Transformer. Ever.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 09:01 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"
←Rate | 06-29-2011 09:25 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon only eats chocolate covered caramel because that's how I Rolo™
←Rate | 06-29-2011 09:37 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon hates it when I get invited to weird events on Facebook. For the fifth time, I do not want to go to your cat's birthday party, freak. My dog is getting married
←Rate | 12-07-2011 08:06 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon The doctor said I have ADOLAB. Attention Deficit...Ooo! Look! A beer!
←Rate | 12-07-2011 08:09 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please breathe the other way. You're bleaching my hair.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 08:11 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon gonna buy a real tree sometime this week, hope it doesnt end up like amy winehouse, dead...5' 6 and surrounded by needles by christmas...
←Rate | 12-14-2011 17:40 by griff Comments (0)  


[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left