SEAN Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'SEAN': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 38

   messageicon Don't buy condoms at BP gas stations, they may burst and result in a leak...
←Rate | 07-04-2010 23:39 by sean Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Don't buy condoms at BP gas stations. They may burst and result in a leak..."
←Rate | 07-27-2010 01:06 by sean Comments (0)  

   messageicon my 2nd wind seems to be fanning the fire of the candle I am burning at both ends
←Rate | 10-18-2010 08:05 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear washing machine, I am all for fighting breast cancer, in-fact I have offered to be a buddy for the buddy check, but turning my socks pink… Come on!
←Rate | 10-18-2010 08:11 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Words to live by: If your outflow is greater than your income, then your up-keeps guna be your downfall
←Rate | 10-19-2010 15:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear makers of Cialis, when I reach middle age and find myslef needing your product, contrary to the advice you offer about calling a doctor if you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, I can assure you that I will be calling a film crew instead
←Rate | 11-11-2010 11:30 by SEAN Comments (2)  

   messageicon I often view the Thanksgiving table as a roulette table, something about potato salad and macaroni salad made by people that don't like me makes me think I would be safer in Vegas betting the house and car
←Rate | 11-24-2010 08:08 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Reasons why Alcohol should be served at work...its an incentive to show up
←Rate | 11-28-2010 08:31 by Sean Comments (0)  

   messageicon Earlier today I got a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.I told them to kiss my a$$. Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't
←Rate | 12-07-2010 04:23 by Sean Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some relatives are like seeing Santa; you only care to see them once a year.
←Rate | 12-23-2010 14:23 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some women should just come with talk plans like my cell phone, because after to much conversation my MIND starts roaming!
←Rate | 12-27-2010 08:10 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Hillbilly from AR on the news last night, I am sure that all the dead birds in your town were not from Aliens invading earth, I'm positive that if invaders have the technology to come to Earth and wanted to scare you, throwing birds at you would no
←Rate | 01-04-2011 08:09 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon My New Years Resolution is to have as much fun as I can regret
←Rate | 01-06-2011 14:59 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apparently it is frowned upon to walk into a bank yelling “It's my Money and I want it now!” Thanks a lot J.G Wentworth
←Rate | 01-08-2011 12:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon likes to applaud inanimate objects just to see if they react 
←Rate | 01-17-2011 14:21 by SeaN Comments (1)  

   messageicon People at work always ask me, Sean- how can you stand to sit so close to that space heater, you have to be burning up- I tell them I was married once and enjoyed the time I spent in Hell
←Rate | 01-19-2011 15:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's easier to wear the buckle than it is to ride the bull, I have no fear about slapping my girl on the ass and calling her by the wrong name just to see how long I can hang on. Gota love rodeo sex!
←Rate | 01-19-2011 15:40 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Man that Bears loss hurt me more than my divorce
←Rate | 01-24-2011 09:43 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Im so tired of this winter and snow that I rigged a gasoline can to my leaf blower, I'm on a mission now to melt all the snow so I can mow later
←Rate | 01-25-2011 07:59 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life Lesson 585: I should write a book about things not to say: Like, it is very unwise for someone to tell a lady struggling with a diet that they would actually loose 10lbs by shaving their back hair. The doctors tell me I should be able to walk again
←Rate | 01-31-2011 08:12 by SEAN Comments (2)  


[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left