Jbabcock Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon 3 Things Every New Nurse should know: 1) never get "eye level' to measure a sore on someone's bottom. 2) Yawning during tracheotomy care is BAD 3) Always smell an Apple Juice in the Nurses fridge before drinking or serving.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 15:02 by Jbabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Judges who judge judgemental judging are often judged judgementally the way they judged. Judging other judgemental judges only brings greater judgement. Judgemental judging as you can easily judge is harsh judgement. Therefore Judge not lest ye be judged!
←Rate | 08-15-2011 15:19 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Summer Vacation begins to spiral downward when your Dad says "Let's go this way. I know a shortcut."
←Rate | 08-15-2011 17:31 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why sure you can trust the Government. Just ask a Native American.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 17:34 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm certain that the reason that God made Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 17:56 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon The 6 LEAST POPULAR Nursing Home Games:6 Simon says Something Incoherent 5.Pin the Toupee on Baldy 4. Hide and Go Pee 3. Musical Dentures 2. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over 1 And of course Kick the Bucket.
←Rate | 08-16-2011 01:28 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon People always say to me "Oh your a Male Nurse". My professions the ONLY one with a need to identify gender. Ya never hear "A Male Mailman handles my Mail". How would a Cop react if after pulling you over said smiling "Ooooh a MALE policeman!"
←Rate | 08-16-2011 02:52 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Games Nursing Staff HATE playing on at a Nursing Home: 5) Ollie, Ollie Ijustpeed 4) Guess what's on My Shoe 3) Here we go Loopty Poo 2)Red Light, Green Light: A Game of Incontinence Care 1) Follow the Leaker
←Rate | 08-17-2011 16:25 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so exhausted from work that I actually tried to use "The Force" to get the remote to come to me. When it didn't work I used the old Jedi Mind Trick sayin "These arent the droids your looking for give me the remote". My son did while rollin his eyes.
←Rate | 08-18-2011 18:06 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...3346,3347,3348,3349- DAMN SHEEP I WISH THEY'D DO THEIR DAMN JOBS!!!! *sigh*...3350,3351,3352...
←Rate | 08-19-2011 05:50 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Abercrombie and Fitch telling the Jersey Shore Cast that wearing their brand makes the brand look scuzzy is a lot like Lindsay Lohan telling Paris Hilton that her partying antics make talentless famous starlets look like trash.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 10:11 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Told one of my favorite co-workers she drew her eyebrows on a little too high one morning a few years back. I've never forgotten how surprised she looked.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 15:20 by Jbabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon The person who coined the phrase "Laughter is the best medicine" probably never received Demerol during his hospitalization.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 15:54 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Wife:"Honey the sales add says the dealership will make it easy for husbands to get a new car for their spouse this weekend!" Me: "Actually that sounds like a pretty good trade."
←Rate | 08-19-2011 20:13 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I work 2 jobs so my family won't be homeless. Ironically with all the extra shifts I'm home less.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 20:28 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon 5 Jobs Westboro Baptist Haters can do instead of protesting Military Funerals: 5) UFC grappling dummies 4) Product testers 4 Fleet's Enema Co. 3) Fear Factor game taste testers 2)Pridefest Clean Up Crew 1) HumanShields 4 R Troops since IEDs R from God.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 22:41 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Patriot Gaurd Motorcycle Riders were awesome at protecting my family from a$$hole Westboro Baptist Haters at my nephews military funeral. Maybe the Hell's Angels to also come and give the same love those hatemongers give others at the next funeral.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 22:58 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon My family loves the Patriot Gaurd Motercycle Riders who shielded us at my nephews military funeral. At the next military funeral I want to also invite the Hell's Angels to give the same love to those protesting hatemongers that they give to others.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 23:06 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon 5 Things you don't want wake up and to hear during your Surgery: 5)Ok folks,let's dig in 4) Accept this sacrifice oh Great Lucifer 3) Fifi! Come back with that! Bad Dog! 2) Oops! My contact lense! 1) It's ALIIIVE!!
←Rate | 08-20-2011 01:12 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every day as the years go by I find myself missing a special certain someone from my past. Lucky for me my aim is improving.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 08:26 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


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