JB Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon setting up a mike's hard lemonade stand at the street corner. I dont ID! hurry and get 'em while they're cold!
←Rate | 07-05-2010 16:57 by jb Comments (0)  

   messageicon I always know the right thing to say immediately AFTER the right time to say it has passed!
←Rate | 11-16-2010 17:20 by jb Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have a truck, shovel and a map, I dare you to keep pissing me off.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:18 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's a few people that I wouldn't mind haveing installed on my driveway as speed bumps..
←Rate | 04-23-2011 04:11 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon My get up an go done got up and went and busted the hell outa my give a damn on it's way out!
←Rate | 04-23-2011 04:13 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
←Rate | 04-23-2011 04:15 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
←Rate | 08-16-2011 05:54 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon Had to call 911 today. They asked what my emergency was, I said, I'm being raped and robbed at the same time. They asked where I was, I said, The Gas Station!
←Rate | 09-08-2011 13:37 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm aging like a fine wine ... which is to say, I'm building up pressure and about to become uncorked!
←Rate | 09-08-2011 14:10 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon If it doesn't kill me the first time... your damn right I'm gunna do it again!!
←Rate | 09-08-2011 14:17 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say life is one long and crazy ride. I wanna know how the hell did I get a ticket and can I get a refund!
←Rate | 09-08-2011 14:25 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.
←Rate | 09-08-2011 14:50 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon if someone ever asks you what your favorite kind of beer is tell them " An open one!"
←Rate | 09-08-2011 15:51 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon "if I knew then what I know now...I'd probably still find a way to screw it up!"
←Rate | 09-08-2011 16:05 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today I saw a baby with a bib that said “This dumbass put my cape on backwards"
←Rate | 09-08-2011 16:14 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." :)
←Rate | 09-08-2011 16:21 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon U know I bet people would become a lot nicer if they sold people tags like they sell deer tags. Once a year you can buy a tag and take out that 1 special person
←Rate | 10-10-2011 04:41 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better...
←Rate | 10-10-2011 06:35 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I want to be part of your religion I would be the one to go to your church by myself. It doesn't bother if someone come to knock at my door, is the annoying way to try to change my believes that bothers me.
←Rate | 10-16-2011 11:30 by JB Comments (0)  

   messageicon Google is only 12 years old and knows even more than me.
←Rate | 10-16-2011 11:41 by JB Comments (0)  


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