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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Dear paranoid people who check behind the shower curtain for murderers: What exactly is the plan if you find one?
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01-14-2024 05:57 by
GaryKoenig
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Prophecy class canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.
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01-13-2024 14:52 by
LeCulk
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I don’t date anymore I just foster women until they find their forever homes
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01-12-2024 19:40
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It's so cold outside, I saw a guy in the ghetto pull his pants up.
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01-12-2024 14:19
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accidentally put my phone in airplane mode and my front door blew off
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01-12-2024 10:32
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What do you call 100 sheep rolling down a hill A lambslide
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01-12-2024 10:28
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"When one door closes, another one opens"! -Boeing
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01-11-2024 23:29 by
PennBallWizard
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I'm so old that I remember when the only fake news was the National Enquirer.
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01-11-2024 18:46
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I rescued a cow from a slaughterhouse today. I named it Jake from Steak Farm.
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01-11-2024 12:14
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We should have a national quiet day where everyone just shuts up for 24 hours.
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01-11-2024 08:47 by
GaryKoenig
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Cant' wait for the Bidens sentencing day.
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01-10-2024 15:00
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People's driving skills got me looking both ways at green lights!
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01-10-2024 08:49 by
GaryKoenig
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Shiny, pointy nipples! Oh, sorry, Facebook wanted to know what was on my mind
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01-09-2024 15:49
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The world would be a much better place if everyone grew vegetables instead of electing them.
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01-09-2024 10:11 by
GaryKoenig
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Sometimes I don't feel like going to work... But then I remember I was born cute, not rich.
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01-08-2024 05:54 by
GaryKoenig
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Pagw 250
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01-07-2024 20:20
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If you buy all your horse tack from Amazon is it considered a Mail-Order Bridle?
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01-07-2024 15:28
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January
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01-06-2024 20:54
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Getting married is like going to the restaurant. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that...
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01-06-2024 14:44 by
Gabe
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Kids these days will never know the pain not being able to see a movie because they are all rented out.
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01-05-2024 20:16
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