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Pro Tip: If you wear a face mask your coworkers can't smell the alcohol on your breath.
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05-12-2020 00:55 by
Gripenfelter
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Obviously stupidity is much more contagious than Covid19
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06-05-2020 07:02
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i’m really getting my money’s worth on rent this year
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06-29-2020 10:01
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Acknowledge many, trust few, but always paddle your own Canoe
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07-13-2020 16:30
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The Lysol commercial said I should disinfect what I touch the most but I have a feeling that's gonna burn.
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07-16-2020 21:14
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What does "colder than hell" mean? Isn't everyplace colder than hell?
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02-24-2018 23:33
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It's pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it's not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
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04-09-2018 11:36
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More bad news for Millennials. Hangovers hurt worse the older you get...
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08-22-2017 15:09
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Whenever someone tells me "things could always be worse", I try to be optimistic and reply "things could always be better." That's the power of positive thinking, right?
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09-27-2017 04:53
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Anything can be used as a dartboard. Like your coworker Jim who always says "another day in paradise".
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07-10-2018 23:13
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it too much to hope that my good cholesterol will be a positive influence on my bad cholesterol.
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09-10-2018 06:53
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The only difference between brown nosing and butt kissing is depth perception.
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09-12-2018 06:53
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Using my feet to lift toilet seats or push the flush handle at public restrooms has helped hone my ninja like skills.
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10-15-2018 14:41
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Everyone knows that one "special" person who's so well rounded they're pointless"
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10-30-2018 22:12 by
Jacob
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If I voted and didn’t take a picture, did I really vote?
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11-06-2018 18:53 by
BWood
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I wonder where Noah kept the termites on the ark.
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11-18-2018 02:25
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"Who let the dogs out?" - [Pavlov getting annoyed]
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11-26-2018 13:23 by
Truman
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I’m going to write a modern Christmas song called “baby is cold outside” it’s the story of a woman arguing with her husband about the thermostat
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12-17-2018 05:57
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I don’t like the term “dad bod”. I prefer “father figure”
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07-12-2019 22:18 by
PosterBoy
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I had this crazy nightmare where I actually enjoyed my job. Thank God I woke up before my boss walked in.
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09-16-2019 20:49
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