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Masks hanging from the rearview mirror are the new fuzzy dice.
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06-09-2020 08:18
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I love coffee, but if someone with a British accent offers me crumpets and tea, l would totally cheat.
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04-30-2016 12:09
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If you eat cake fast enough your Fitbit thinks you're walking
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01-13-2020 09:21
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Next time a telemarketer calls, hit 'em with an "I love you" right off the bat. Just keep saying it, no matter what they say..
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01-30-2020 07:08
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Iowa's voting app failed because it was too icy to climb up the telephone poles to vote.
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02-04-2020 10:56
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I don’t think my wife realizes that the FREE SEX coupons I gave her last Valentine’s Day are about to expire.
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02-12-2020 08:00
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Happy birthday to Alexander Graham Bell. In his honor, I’ll be calling in sick.
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03-03-2020 06:32
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New Commandment: 11. Thou shalt not COVID thy neighbor.
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03-24-2020 07:05
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Do you think, in a pinch, Jim Henson ever used Kermit as an oven mitt?
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03-26-2020 15:34
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A guy at Kroger asked me if I know where Engagement, Ohio is. I said it's between Dayton and Marion.
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04-21-2020 07:27
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Pro Tip: If you wear a face mask your coworkers can't smell the alcohol on your breath.
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05-12-2020 00:55 by
Gripenfelter
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Obviously stupidity is much more contagious than Covid19
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06-05-2020 07:02
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i’m really getting my money’s worth on rent this year
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06-29-2020 10:01
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Acknowledge many, trust few, but always paddle your own Canoe
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07-13-2020 16:30
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The Lysol commercial said I should disinfect what I touch the most but I have a feeling that's gonna burn.
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07-16-2020 21:14
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I miss the good ol' days, when no one had a clue what 'gluten' was.
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08-10-2020 14:37
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I do all my own stunts but not intentionally.
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09-10-2020 17:33
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Amazon has been approved for drone delivery. We now have skeet shooting with prizes.
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09-15-2020 15:12
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‘Was that really necessary?’ ~slapped newborns
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09-22-2020 08:13
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Banks need to do a better job filling their ATM's. 3rd one in a row that's saying "Insufficient Funds"
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10-02-2020 11:44 by
KennyOpiola
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