Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Bachelor is a guy who will never find out how many faults he has.
←Rate | 10-02-2018 21:42 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Consciousness is the nightmare before sleep.
←Rate | 10-02-2018 21:39 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon before you know it, Amazon workers will be making Prime money
←Rate | 10-02-2018 20:18 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Good day to be an uneducated Amazon worker!
←Rate | 10-02-2018 18:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A new study says that a lot of people on social media today will believe anything that starts out by saying a new study says.
←Rate | 10-02-2018 16:04 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Guys, prove you're not a rapist by giving large sums of money to random women!
←Rate | 10-02-2018 15:50 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Truth doesn’t matter when you just vote for your team regardless of their integrity.
←Rate | 10-02-2018 14:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I, put commas, in, weird places, so that you, read my jokes, like, William Shatner!
←Rate | 10-02-2018 02:56 by Truman Comments (1)  

   messageicon Its a little frustrating how my speakerphone literally types everything I say exclamation mark
←Rate | 10-01-2018 17:10 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Damn, this is going to get ugly" I thought, as my wife removed her makeup!
←Rate | 10-01-2018 16:08 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon A-ah Mario, I have-a de large a-brain!
←Rate | 10-01-2018 12:13 by Trump Comments (0)  

   messageicon People are strange? Last night the bloke in the next toilet stall to me started playing with himself? It put me right off my sandwich!
←Rate | 10-01-2018 10:49 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think my car needs wheel alignment because it’s keeps going towards the liquor store
←Rate | 09-30-2018 13:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you're really not liked at your job, when they relocate and don't tell you where.
←Rate | 09-30-2018 00:15 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Alcohol doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean..... Against the walls, tables, chairs ect ect
←Rate | 09-29-2018 23:12 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon In 5 years there will be no such thing as a baby gender - scan? You'll have to wait until it's 10 years old for it to tell you if it's a boy or a girl!
←Rate | 09-29-2018 07:44 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Confucius said: "To be old and wise, you first have to be young and stupid."
←Rate | 09-29-2018 05:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ciick-fil-a surprises Florida man for his 100th birthday with free food for life.
←Rate | 09-29-2018 02:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sept.29 Nickelodeon (kids tv channel) world wide day of play. Turn the kids TV off and send them outside to play.
←Rate | 09-28-2018 22:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm pretty certain I'll never be a serial killer, since I don't have a middle name!
←Rate | 09-28-2018 16:49 by Truman Comments (0)  

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