Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If a menu item costs a dollar, you give up all rights to complain about it, even if it has pubes in it...
←Rate | 01-01-2019 20:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm at the age where I don't party hard I party mildly.
←Rate | 01-01-2019 14:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just want to wish everyone a happy new year! case you missed the million posts before this one saying the same thing.
←Rate | 01-01-2019 13:50 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I call my pecker Whitesnake because here I go again on my own.
←Rate | 01-01-2019 13:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mom says hunnie your room is full of trash I be like mom my ex isn't here anymore
←Rate | 01-01-2019 01:20 by AquagenddèWilliams Comments (0)  

   messageicon The last place to celebrate the New Year's eve celebration is the tiny north pacific Island Midway Atoll with the population of about 60.
←Rate | 12-31-2018 23:45 Comments (2)  

   messageicon Southers New Year's tradition is to eat black eyed peas, hog jowls or ham hocks, and collard greens on New Year's .
←Rate | 12-31-2018 20:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Stock markets close out on worst year since 1931. Well, we did say we wanted to go back in time, to the good old days.
←Rate | 12-31-2018 20:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fun fact: the tiny island of Tonga is one of the very first areas in the world to celebrate the New Year.
←Rate | 12-31-2018 20:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon On new year's eve, tonight while counting down the last 10 seconds, Lift yout left leg so you start the new year out on the right foot, making all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions! Happy new years guys! Be safe, please. 😘
←Rate | 12-31-2018 18:56 by Richmcc Comments (0)  

   messageicon Billboard is wrong. The hottest single of 2018 is me.
←Rate | 12-31-2018 16:30 by Andy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes there's a very thin line between "I should share this on Facebook with all my friends" and "I might want to seek private professional help for this"
←Rate | 12-31-2018 12:48 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you want to know who your real facebook fiends are all you have to do is post that you got a new phone and need numbers.
←Rate | 12-31-2018 08:19 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon And as tradition would have it, I now sincerely regret making plans for NYE
←Rate | 12-31-2018 01:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Rudy: "Put up or shut up." That's good advice, that he needs to follow.
←Rate | 12-30-2018 18:22 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know how TV commercials for burgers places make the burger look much better in the picture than they do in real life? Yeah, that's FaceBook
←Rate | 12-30-2018 09:55 by Mr.Sharp Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't you hate it when someone is willing to take the credit when something is a success, but when it’s a FAILURE, it’s ALWAYS, somebody else’s fault?
←Rate | 12-30-2018 09:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had it all, money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman, then pow, it was all gone, when my wife found out.
←Rate | 12-30-2018 06:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bird Box looks exactly like A Quiet Place but instead of covering their mouths, they cover their eyes. Wait, if monkeys have taught me anything... will the next movie be about people who have to cover their ears?
←Rate | 12-29-2018 13:20 by MikeReynolds Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm determind to stay out of debt this new year. Even if I have to borrow the money to do so.
←Rate | 12-29-2018 00:59 by Joker Comments (0)  

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