Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. Ain't no psychotic meltdowns, either...
←Rate | 02-07-2019 11:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chloroform is my favorite essential oil.
←Rate | 02-07-2019 05:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After owning my phone for almost a year I finally figured out how to make the fonts bigger, which will make walking easier.
←Rate | 02-06-2019 21:54 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's on my mind is what do I need to do today besides waste time looking at Facebook?
←Rate | 02-06-2019 13:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Calling for compromise, but only if it's on your own terms. How is that compromise?
←Rate | 02-06-2019 10:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For a ski team, these guys in the 7-11 sure have a lot of guns!
←Rate | 02-05-2019 19:16 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I called the cops on my own Super Bowl party so everyone would leave.
←Rate | 02-05-2019 18:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part of Valentine's day, is the next days 50% off sale on the box chocolate candy.
←Rate | 02-05-2019 17:14 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's day, then the side chick is you.
←Rate | 02-05-2019 17:10 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish having a friend with benefits meant I had a friend who'd be willing to marry me so I wouldn't have to keep paying dearly for my own insurance.
←Rate | 02-05-2019 16:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people get angry when you say F you, or give them the finger ? But not when you say srrew you or up yours ? Don't they all mean the same thing ?
←Rate | 02-05-2019 16:40 by Just.asking Comments (0)  


   messageicon The penalty for bigamy is having two mother in-laws.
←Rate | 02-05-2019 16:03 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Prison guards and security are just a waste of money. All prisons only needs walls.
←Rate | 02-05-2019 15:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How embarrassing. First day of Chinese New Year, and I just wrote "Dog" on a check instead of "Pig".
←Rate | 02-05-2019 14:32 by DC Comments (1)  


   messageicon Just heard a milli vanilli on the radio and I'm not afraid to say that I liked their music! or whoevers music it was they were lip sinking that is to say.
←Rate | 02-05-2019 14:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Y’all really spending $300 for hotels rooms on Valentine’s Day to do the same 3 position y’all do at home?
←Rate | 02-05-2019 14:14 by @svaldez187 Comments (1)  


   messageicon When people on Facebook ask a stupid question, and then say "Go!"...that's usually what I do...I GO!...Ain't none of us got time to stick around and answer your rhetorical questions..it's probaby time for you to get a companion pet.
←Rate | 02-04-2019 18:00 by therealtimmyt Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why the hell is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time!
←Rate | 02-04-2019 13:45 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I just want a man to rub my butt without trying to shove something in it.
←Rate | 02-04-2019 13:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a Fire-Fighter's career can go up in smoke, and a plumber's career can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off?
←Rate | 02-04-2019 13:16 Comments (1)  



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