Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Neutering our dog was the best thing we ever did. Made him less nuts.
←Rate | 09-14-2020 12:43 by DJJackson Comments (0)  

   messageicon Feel bad for all the kids who probably won't be trick-or-treating this year, but just think of all the candy they'll be for 50% off the day after!
←Rate | 09-14-2020 12:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let's face it. The first thing a guy does after a woman accepts his friends request is look for bikini pics.
←Rate | 09-14-2020 11:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Excited to be able to bet on the NFL again. I got money on the coronavirus shutting down the league in week3.
←Rate | 09-13-2020 21:22 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This lifelong football fan now has an extra 3 hours to do projects and other tasks like shopping on Sundays from now on.
←Rate | 09-13-2020 09:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Saw a mail truck in the cemetery today. I guess they have started delivering the ballots!
←Rate | 09-13-2020 09:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon First Responders of 911 were not honored by the NFL last night. A rapist was.
←Rate | 09-13-2020 08:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was young I could climb mountains. Now, I have to steady myself to fart.
←Rate | 09-13-2020 08:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Friend: Don't worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea.... Me: Yeah, that and crabs.
←Rate | 09-13-2020 08:17 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon People who find your stuff, then claim it’s theirs: 1. Colonialists 2. Sisters
←Rate | 09-13-2020 07:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gonna crash a tanker full of pink oil into a delicate coral reef for my next gender reveal party.
←Rate | 09-13-2020 05:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so old I just sit around and look at Facebook all day.... like younger people do nowadays.
←Rate | 09-12-2020 22:25 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon The human mind and spirit seek answers revealed in truth, yet ultimately find little more than contradictions, falsehoods and lies.
←Rate | 09-12-2020 20:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon After six months of listening to people talk with masks on, I finally understand what Charlie Brown’s teacher was saying
←Rate | 09-12-2020 20:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's no longer 5:00 somewhere. It's 2020 everywhere. Drink whenever the hell you want.
←Rate | 09-12-2020 09:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well, Dwayne Johnson has COVID. Coronavirus really hit Rock Bottom.
←Rate | 09-12-2020 07:55 by DaWorb Comments (0)  

   messageicon If 2020 was a drink, I'm thinking it would be a Colonoscopy Prep.
←Rate | 09-12-2020 07:55 by DaWorb Comments (0)  

   messageicon SYNONYM [Noun] A word used in a place of the one you can't spell.
←Rate | 09-12-2020 07:54 by DaWorb Comments (0)  

   messageicon To the person who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
←Rate | 09-12-2020 07:53 by DaWorb Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you’re driving down the road alone with your gloves and mask on, you don’t need that Biden sticker. We already know.
←Rate | 09-11-2020 23:49 Comments (0)  

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