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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Im going to get a tattoo of my face on my back just so I could see who stabs me in the back..
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11-08-2010 02:48 by
herbncheese/oscar
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I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
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11-08-2010 02:23 by
@seddy90
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Who cares if my grandkids aren't gonna see a polar bear? I didn't see a dinosaur
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11-08-2010 02:22 by
@seddy90
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from the moment I saw u, I wanted 2b inside u, The way you smell, The way ur tongue feels, The way you tighten n loosen.....mmmm new shoes
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11-08-2010 02:21 by
@seddy90
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Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
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11-08-2010 00:13
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if the Cowboys are "America's Team," we might as well just learn to like soccer.
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11-08-2010 00:11 by
Shamus
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The best line which helps in saving money when going on dinner with ur wife : bol kya khayegi.... MOTI
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11-07-2010 23:53
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It rained today. I know this because I checked a few of the local outdoor web cams
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11-07-2010 23:44
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thinking of misbehaving with you tonight, wanna come?
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11-07-2010 22:43
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You want to know what chloroform smells like?
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11-07-2010 22:09 by
JimJR
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I'm watching extreme makeover: home edition in an attempt to invoke an emotion response from my cold and numb soul.
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11-07-2010 20:44 by
The FRED
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Dear God.. If that cat puke on the floor disapears in the next 5 minutes, then I will except Jesus as my savior. Amen
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11-07-2010 20:33
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Grandma complained no one ever calls so I put a "How's My Driving?" bumper sticker on her car. The phone pretty much rings off the hook now.
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11-07-2010 20:19 by
Aaron
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I donate .05 cents a day to a local charity. That way whenever someone tells me how great there day was I can say "Yeah, well I donated to charity"
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11-07-2010 20:19
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Men suck... Sent from Kitchen
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11-07-2010 20:18
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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar, but that's alright because I am a dinosaur.
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11-07-2010 20:09 by
Aaron
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I had a McRib today. My toilet just waved a white flag.
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11-07-2010 20:07 by
Aaron
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as the great philospher Jagger said...."you can't always get what you want.."
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11-07-2010 19:48
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NFL= National Flag League
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11-07-2010 19:40 by
mhenry
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I just lost my self respect at the Golden Corral.
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11-07-2010 19:29 by
Joshman
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