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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Birthday cake is the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece.
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11-08-2010 17:36 by
kfiff
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been searching and searching all her life, and STILL can't find the yellow brick road!
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11-08-2010 16:00
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Do you ever get so mad you start texting/typing with your middle fingers?
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11-08-2010 15:49
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Today's Email: "I moved Bush's new memoir to the crime section at my bookstore".
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11-08-2010 15:22 by
Aaron
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Queen Elizabeth now has a Facebook page,going to give her a poke
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11-08-2010 15:21 by
brendan gault
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I want to donkey punch ignorant people
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11-08-2010 15:19 by
DonSixx
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It's not "When Wild Animals Attack!" as much as it is "When Stupid People Get Bit."
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11-08-2010 15:10 by
Aaron
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how do you spell procrastination? F-A-C-E-B-O-O-K...
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11-08-2010 14:22
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had some sushi for lunch but it seemed a bit undercooked
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11-08-2010 14:07
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Please do not open any messages from me that are entitled "Do not open , This is a virus which will destroy your hard drive then come to your house and donkey punch you in the back of the head"
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11-08-2010 13:26 by
Banjaxed
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At the Photography Studio: "First, we'll shoot you, then we'll blow you up, then you can go home and hang yourself."
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11-08-2010 13:24 by
Aaron
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I always text 'lol' but rarely do I actually "laugh out loud". I'm such a liar.
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11-08-2010 12:53
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People who can't find happiness aren't in a liquor store.
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11-08-2010 12:41 by
Ha Ha Brades
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Everybody get your flu shots now! Make sure all of your family and friends do too. Then I won't have to get one.
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11-08-2010 12:25 by
Marshall the Great
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Today is Monday, and that's reason enough for me to hate it.
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11-08-2010 12:22 by
Marshall the Great
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Whenever I Google something, I get so distracted by the absurd things others have Googled that I rarely get my answer.
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11-08-2010 12:21 by
Marshall the Great
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If you're going to walk a mile in my shoes, can you pick me up some booze on your way back?
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11-08-2010 12:20 by
Marshall the Great
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A religious man is one who feels repentant on a Sunday, for what he did on Saturday and will do again on Monday.
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11-08-2010 12:17
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Life is a roller coaster. You can either scream every time you hit a bump or you can throw your hands up in the air and enjoy it.
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11-08-2010 12:14 by
Marshall the Great
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I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
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11-08-2010 12:13
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