Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   a little puzzled, as to why she has eye-liner on her thigh...

   may get her mink out tonight. It's time.

   has no doubt that there's a place in every woman's life for a red thong, but that place is not five inches above the waistline of her jeans. Ever.

   discovered today, that the man sitting next to her had wet himself.

   just asked a group of people for a lighter. They thought she was homeless, asking for money. She's wearing false lashes. When was the last time you saw a homeless person with false lashes?

   amazed what she can do with a broccoli, when she puts her mind to it.

   MYTH NUMBER 6.... Liquor Before Beer, Never Fear.

   Bought a dog that gives up chasing a cat after about 10 seconds. So I'm calling it Quits.

   Just for fun, I left a note of this guys car at Wal-Mart that said, "Sorry for backing into your car". That should keep him busy for a few minutes.

   idiot noun \ˈi-dē-ət\ - One who disagrees with me

   A sack of corn nuts and a good Vogue magazine. And I m just fine

   Its not that I'm not that into you. Its more that I'm not into you at all.

   Betty Crocker likes to spoon?

   as of today I will no longer use "lol" after my comments or posts...I will now use "snicker".

   How long does it take for an ejaculation to become mature?

   Ahhh,,, Confucius say...I know I had it in my hand a minute ago.

   I hate getting wet...it always makes little animals pop out of my bac!

   Drunk Midgets....i'm pretty sure this is what people come to the internet for.

   I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world. ~ Georges Duhamel (1884 - 1966)

   Cam Newton is being investigated on animal cruelty charges because apparently video evidence shows him applying beatings to bulldogs, hogs, tigers, chickens, bears, wildcats & wolves. He's stated his intention to beat elephants, ducks & dawgs soon...