Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   likes the fact that my boss is technologically handicapped. Now I have fed his number in the black list and he's off to get his phone repaired so that he can make calls to me.

   misses the days of Mystery Google.

   Just called in sick to work with Buck Fever.

   having dingy facial hair a requirement to be a boxer now?

   Why men should never take phone messages: "Your gyne colleges called. Your Pabst beer is OK. (I didn't know you liked beer!)"

   the biggest thing on a woman's panties should be the tag!!!!!

   Now that Pacquiao's won another fight, everyone wants to see him go up against Floyd Mayweather. But we all know there's no 'money' cuz we're in a recession.

   President Obama is asking if they can build a statue of Manny Pacquiao to scare off Mexicans from crossing the US border!

   thinks it's tricky when you're ignoring someone and they ask you if you're ignoring them.

   Biggest lie ever: "I have read the terms of conditions"

   A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing, but do a mother.

   I don't understand the concept of a Freudian slip. It doesn't make any sex to me at all.

   would really appreciate an Aussie Kiss right about now...Yep! Down Under!

   wondering why Miss Piggy always chased after Kermit the Frog, he's green and slimy and will probably give her warts!

   making sentences with the words liver and cheese... liver alone cheese mine!

   HAPPY CHILDRENS DAY :)

   You have not truly experienced ALL of Gods blessings until you have been on both sides of giving and receiving.

   I wonder how we know to eat eggs,did someone say"see that chicken over there, I'm goin eat the 1st thing that comes outta its butt"

   Mark Zuckerberg really controls all of our lives, at any moment he could decide to take Facebook offline.

   You know....spooning leads to forking right?