Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Idiot-[id-ee-uht] noun: One who disagrees with me. Synonyms: Fool, Half-wit, Imbecile, Twit, Moron
←Rate | 01-07-2011 08:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Nothing funnier than a pissed off mall cop on a Segway. With those goofy helmets on, I just can't take them seriously.
←Rate | 01-07-2011 08:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're a millionaire and you don't have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool, then you should just give me all of your money because you're wasting it.
←Rate | 01-07-2011 08:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon 's words to live by: Treat everyone you meet with dignity and respect but always have a plan to kill them.
←Rate | 01-07-2011 08:03 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sky Sports – “David, you are planning a return to the Premier League, you have only ever played for one other team being Man United; have you thought about the stick?” David – “Yeah, she'll get used to it, she loves London.”
←Rate | 01-07-2011 07:23 by @clarkysj Comments (1)  


   messageicon I hate racsism. Racsism is a crime, and crime is for blck people
←Rate | 01-07-2011 07:06 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have finally been diagnosed...!!! I have a serious condition known as "Awesomeness" but don't worry, none of you can get it because its not contagious!!! ;)
←Rate | 01-07-2011 07:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon First the dead birs in Arkansas, now the 2 million dead fish in Maryland. Are we in a Michael Bay disaster movie?
←Rate | 01-07-2011 07:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon beginning to think that this whole "being an adult" thing is not as fun as I had envisioned as a child, except for the alcohol part.
←Rate | 01-07-2011 07:03 by Esoteric Comments (0)  


   messageicon whoever believes this 2012 crap about the world ending.......i mean seriously.....maybe the Mayans just figured it was already thousands of years past their time so why keep counting..........just sayin.......
←Rate | 01-07-2011 04:20 by bleekerz Comments (0)  


   messageicon A movie about Justin Bieber's life? I am looking forward to part 2, "From Puberty To Obscurity."
←Rate | 01-07-2011 04:10 by InkedPreacher Comments (0)  


   messageicon so I go to walmart and see two problems, 1. they have a justin bieber doll and 2. you press his crotch to hear him sing...
←Rate | 01-07-2011 01:26 by Chelsea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got home from the convenience store where I saw two homeless people making out. It was gross so I was about to yell "Get a Room", luckily I caught myself just in time
←Rate | 01-07-2011 01:03 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon The man on a date always wonders if he'll get lucky but te woman already knows
←Rate | 01-07-2011 00:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
←Rate | 01-07-2011 00:15 by Henny Youngman Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. ‘You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, ‘I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.
←Rate | 01-07-2011 00:14 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Confucius say Treat your woman like your vacuum cleaner if she stops sucking, replace the bag
←Rate | 01-06-2011 23:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For those of you whose New Years Resolution is to lose weight. There is one simple diet that works. It is, as follows: If it tastes good - spit it out.
←Rate | 01-06-2011 23:06 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, I think facbook doesn't know me at all. People You May Know? I don't know any of these MoFo's!!!
←Rate | 01-06-2011 22:50 by Mr. Gasparilla Comments (0)  


   messageicon When telling someone the first rule about Fight Club, aren't you in fact breaking that rule yourself?
←Rate | 01-06-2011 22:33 Comments (0)  



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