Funny Status Messages

   If all this Global Warming keeps up, I think Atlanta may have to add to it's fleet of 8 snow-plows......

   Dear Zuckerberg: Please create a "Drama Queen" button = Like = Unlike = Drama Queen = Comment

   “I knew you'd be back.” -The Drawing Board

   You know your'e getting old when you think an XBOX is where you keep your divorce papers.

   I just don't see how a two peckered billy goat can be that productive...jus' sayin'

   you know you are having a bad day, when the bird singing outside your window is a vulture

   I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up

   I get this funny feeling that people are reading the things I type here but maybe I'm just being paranoid.

   really thinks there should be an option on Facebook to 'like' someone's status but not be reminded every single time someone replies on it!

   It's 11/1/11 11:11:11 P.M.

   I was a mess when she left again...tears flowing, snot running, skin burning...I have GOT to stop buying her pepper spray....

   Justin Bieber the only daughter that Mr. & Mrs. Bieber have?

   A Super-size Extra Value Meal!!!

   Homonyms: a reel waist of thyme.

   The one good redeeming value of pedophiles is that they do drive slow through school zones.

   Australia has officially chnaged it's name to ATLANTIS

   Great! My Mayan doctor just said I have less than a year to live ..

   You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you alot and think of you often.

   Facebook partly responsible for flat wide asses across the globe

   We use 300muscles to keep our balance when we stand, The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb the femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster then a man's.A woman has read this entire post..a man is stil lookin at his thumb