Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Good thing I never got my zodiac sign tattooed.

   If hooters changes to a door-to-door service, would they change thier name to knockers?

   They changed the zodiac signs! Are they just going to add in a new random month too?

   Apparently, it is nearly impossible for men to beat a women in any argument, because men have a need to make sense.

   It really sucks when your in the middle of something and your batteries go dead.

   dude, I'm pretty sure your car isnt supposed to sound like a dirt bike!

   I just learned that if you say Gullible REALLY SLOWLY, it sounds like orange. DT

   Why don't people start protesting funerals of members of the Westboro Baptist Church?

   In an argument, a woman always has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

   Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.

   My god some people would join anything... I mean if they had a cause for taking a dump in centeral park , I am sure there would be some takers!!!

   spending all day at the furburger buffet...

   If there were to be a strip club with comedic act every night. Would it be called the Witty Titty?

   A Vegetarian is an old Indian word meaning "bad hunter."

   You want me on your wall! You need me on your wall!

   The next person that says asks me "Think we got enough snow?" shall be given an epic whitewash.

   If you havent practice your alibi in front of the mirror, you haven't been in-love.

   Can't believe Obama's speech cut into Modern Family... Put him on PBS where no one cares!

   Just drank enough NyQuil to sedate a family of hippos....

   I hate when I can't understand what I'm eavesdropping on.