Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon will stop drinking when captain morgan puts his foot down.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 19:22 by Carla Comments (0)  

   messageicon saw a police vehicle with a broken tail light. Can another police officer pull him over to give him a ticket?
←Rate | 07-04-2010 18:39 by cutealicious305 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Feel bad for eating sushi at my desk in front of my goldfish.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 18:32 by @seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If porn was truly free, I'd save a lot of time on google.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 18:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon best all time combos...peanut butter and jelly, ham and cheese, batman and robin...ALCOHOL AND FIREWORKS!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 18:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today marks a historic date of our country. Happy 4th of July to everyone. The day Will Smith saved us from Aliens.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 17:58 by Adrian Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy birthday USA! On a side note thanks to President Whitmore, Captain Steven Hiller, David Levinson and Mr. Russell Casse for saving us from aliens in 1996!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 17:49 by Nitsua Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't wait to see who's all going to be single on my facebook after the 4th of July!"
←Rate | 07-04-2010 17:23 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  

   messageicon The eternal struggle: Tops of feet are sunburnt. Lighter is dead. Corner store is two blocks away. They have a sign: no shirt no shoes no service. I don't own flip flops. This is going to suck balls.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 16:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon enjoying the peace and quiet... the voices in my head aren't speaking to me at the moment!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 15:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 14:54 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  

   messageicon - My wife said she is going to leave me if I dont stop my bad habbits. I nearly choked on my toe nail.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 14:05 by trickz100 Comments (0)  

   messageicon - For sale:- One pair of world cup football boots, mint condition, no scuffs, Contact Wayne Rooney for more info.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 14:03 by trickz100 Comments (0)  

   messageicon - I don't need Anger Management, I need for people to not piss me off!!!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 14:01 by trickz100 Comments (0)  

   messageicon - If the camera lens is round, why is the picture rectangular?
←Rate | 07-04-2010 14:00 by trickz100 Comments (0)  

   messageicon - Justin AmatterofsecondswasknownworldwidetobeacompletedoucheBieber.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 13:57 by trickz100 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A woman is a highly developed, deeply intelligent, infinitely complicated being. And it needs to be carefully tricked into doing things.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 10:05 by Emmy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Also, when asked by police if you have any weapons or drugs, never say "Why? What do you need?"
←Rate | 07-04-2010 10:00 by l33t Comments (0)  

   messageicon America is getting up there in age, but i'd still do her. God Bless America!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 09:26 by Brado B Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy 234th Birthday,America! :)
←Rate | 07-04-2010 07:18 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

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