Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5150 of 5319

   messageicon I was so drunk last night , I went to bed with Bo Derek and woke up with Bo Diddley
←Rate | 07-19-2010 06:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oops they got my order wrong again. I ordered an extra large weekend,hold the Monday. I'll wait in bed until they get it right!
←Rate | 07-19-2010 06:33 by Bindi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting older means I no longer have the energy to do many of the things I enjoy in life, for example being awake.
←Rate | 07-19-2010 06:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon nothing last forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the bullsh*ts, take chances, never have regrets because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted 2 do!!
←Rate | 07-19-2010 05:57 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do you keep liking your own status? Of course you would like it, you f**king posted it!
←Rate | 07-19-2010 01:27 by Uche617Belonwu Comments (0)  


   messageicon just seen a man wearing pinki capri's, must be a foreigner..
←Rate | 07-19-2010 01:23 by Uche617 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you are brave to say "good bye", life will reward you with a new "hello"
←Rate | 07-19-2010 00:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works
←Rate | 07-18-2010 23:42 by RoN Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I say "I understand", it doesn't mean I agree, it doesn't mean I understand, it certainly doesn't not mean I'm listening.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 23:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon She came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, she damn left & I was hurt!!... stupid mosquito!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 23:32 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do girls run from the ones that make them happy, and fight for the ones that make them cry?
←Rate | 07-18-2010 23:12 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children
←Rate | 07-18-2010 22:40 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, just a reminder...the same rule applies to spray tans as is does to Make up...less is more!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 22:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK Fellas, this one is for you. Be careful who you pick up and take to bed. With wigs, weaves, fake nails, padded bras and pants; you could go to be with a girl that looks like Janet Jackson and wake up with one that looks like Tito!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 22:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love haters! they're always thinkin of me!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 22:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
←Rate | 07-18-2010 22:00 by LJG Comments (0)  


   messageicon How is my Facebooking? call 1-800-DIS-LIKE
←Rate | 07-18-2010 21:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has status electricity...if you get too close there maybe status friction and you'll get status shock.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 21:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you want me to go running with you, I'm going to need some motivation... Like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 21:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men - Alcohol impairs your ability to make good decisions. We don't want you to lose that ability... we want her to.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 21:07 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left