Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF

Search Messages:
Page: 5150 of 5263

   messageicon I just ordered a cup of coffee from a BP gas stations and the attendant spilled it... why am I not surprised!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 14:42 by geez Comments (0)  

   messageicon Are you into fitness? Then you shouldn't have a problem fitness d*** in ur mouth!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 14:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Plano TX, where guys show up in ed hardy T- shirts glittered up, fake bake tan, dragon ball z hair, wearing sunglasses indoors. Thank you for making meeting women so easy for me.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 14:12 by Sean Mitchell Comments (0)  

   messageicon Plano, where guys show up in ed hardy shirt glittered up, fake bake tan, dragon ball z hair, wearing sunglasses indoors.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 14:09 by Sean Mitchell Comments (0)  

   messageicon So, ladies..... when you don't feel like using the "Shakeweight," do you tell yourself you have a headache?
←Rate | 07-16-2010 13:39 by bigedusw Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do NOT download the Mel Gibson app on your new iPhone. It attacks all your other apps, then implodes.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 13:01 by jdpower Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinking about some chicken fried, cold beer, and wearing a pair of jeans that fit just right!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 13:01 by rturcotte Comments (0)  

   messageicon ‎*disclamer* no animals were harmed in the crafting of this status update. Stunt doubles were substituted and all theories were tested on a closed course.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 12:58 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Was in hospital waiting room and had sat on a newspaper that was on the chair. This guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" Didn't really know how to respond... So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again...
←Rate | 07-16-2010 12:49 by Tom ... Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't judge me. If you're reading this, then you aren't working either.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 12:24 by Felesar Comments (0)  

   messageicon put your hands in da air and wave 'em like you just don't care 'cause it's Friday!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 12:18 by cindy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just witness a lady shake the sh*t out of her kid in Wal-Mart...she must be a Shakeweight owner!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 11:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did you put the "Baby on Board" sign on your minivan to let me know you have precious cargo OR to warn me that your going to drive like an a$$hole and pay attention to everything but the road? just curious....
←Rate | 07-16-2010 10:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Working on working on my evil plot to take over the world. But first, a bowl of Froot Loops!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 08:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't be sad, don't be blue, Frankenstein was ugly too!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 08:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinking 9000 people are having sex right now, 2000 are kissing, 1000 getting head and you are reading my status. Hang in there sunshine
←Rate | 07-16-2010 08:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon O dang the voices in my head are speaking Spanish again....they know I don't understand them!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 08:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that Edward Scissorhands should be very much afraid of Edward Rockhands...
←Rate | 07-16-2010 08:00 by DAYAM Comments (0)  

   messageicon if any more of these Mel Gibson tapes get released you'll be able to buy the box set from Time Life by XMas
←Rate | 07-16-2010 07:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't care if Monday's blue... Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too... Thursday I don't care about you... It's Friday, and I don't have any real plans for this evening...
←Rate | 07-16-2010 07:21 Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left