Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon loves to be the first person to use a new bar of soap
←Rate | 07-04-2010 00:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon remembering how when he was young and only kiss on the lips was a big deal, now a days it's like let's cut the bullsh*t let's have sexy time."
←Rate | 07-03-2010 23:04 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  

   messageicon All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 21:45 by shoesan Comments (0)  

   messageicon What do the Argentina World Cup soccer team and BP have in common? A Messi!
←Rate | 07-03-2010 19:25 by Kado Comments (0)  

   messageicon enjoying the fourth of july, the most american holiday of them all. And what do we do as americans? we drink beer owned by Belgians. (Bud) beer by south Africans, (miller) we eat polish sausages, and shoot fireworks from the Chinese.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 18:46 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  

   messageicon The greatest lesson we can learn from the past. . . is that freedom is at the core of every successful nation in the world... Liberty is the right to choose. Freedom is the result of the right choice!
←Rate | 07-03-2010 18:23 by Gr`Apes Comments (2)  

   messageicon You're not Pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 17:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 16:28 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was talking to my friends Tom and Dave and they said " hey, do you know Doug has two a$$holes"? I said "What???" They said "It's true. Today we were walking with Doug and we heard somebody say 'Look, there's Doug.With those two a$$holes'"
←Rate | 07-03-2010 15:31 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear At&t, can you please stopping dropping my phone calls. I know the iPhone is a great money maker for you, but you guys don't enough bandwidth to service your FLIPPIN handheld media devices plus my FLIPPIN PHONE CALLS... mmmmkkkay thanks
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon List of things I've accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:40 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon One of the major benefits of using a combined 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner is having enough room leftover on the shower caddy for the beer.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:39 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone with a pool want to be my new best friend?
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:39 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon They call it "Cash for Gold" because "Cash for all the Sh*t You Stole to Support Your Meth Habit" didn't have the same ring to it.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:38 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon My new hobby is intentionally putting myself into awkward situations
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:37 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon So Andy Murray is out of Wimbledon - he was said to look absolutely distraught. I'm so pleased he's cheered up a bit ......
←Rate | 07-03-2010 13:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Must have finally caught "Beiber Fever", Every time I hear about this prick, I wanna puke...
←Rate | 07-03-2010 13:24 by Jimmie Watkins Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing says your celebrating the birth of are Nation, like the smell of Gunpowder and Beer..
←Rate | 07-03-2010 13:14 by Wolf Comments (3)  

   messageicon patrick swayze sang she's like the wind. On the way to work this morning the wind blew me all over the road.... if only patricks song were more true.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 11:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing Says You Are Celebrating the Birth of Our Nation, Like Blowing Up a Small Part of It!!!
←Rate | 07-03-2010 11:12 by Gasparilla Comments (1)  

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