Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Dear 5 Hour Energy, What in the HELL is your idea of this flavor you call "berry?" Dingle?!
←Rate | 07-19-2010 10:02 by Leeferd Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you're ugly when you can't even get poked on facebook
←Rate | 07-19-2010 09:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd tap that...Haha....kidding I wouldn't even poke that on Facebook.
←Rate | 07-19-2010 08:35 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your parents didn't have children, chances are you won't either
←Rate | 07-19-2010 07:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A friend of mine bought an iPod Touch. I checked it out... It's just like an iPhone, but you can't make calls. No wait, it's exactly like an iPhone.
←Rate | 07-19-2010 06:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Many great discoveries are made by not following instructions.
←Rate | 07-19-2010 06:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was so drunk last night , I went to bed with Bo Derek and woke up with Bo Diddley
←Rate | 07-19-2010 06:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oops they got my order wrong again. I ordered an extra large weekend,hold the Monday. I'll wait in bed until they get it right!
←Rate | 07-19-2010 06:33 by Bindi Comments (0)  

   messageicon Getting older means I no longer have the energy to do many of the things I enjoy in life, for example being awake.
←Rate | 07-19-2010 06:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon nothing last forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the bullsh*ts, take chances, never have regrets because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted 2 do!!
←Rate | 07-19-2010 05:57 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do you keep liking your own status? Of course you would like it, you f**king posted it!
←Rate | 07-19-2010 01:27 by Uche617Belonwu Comments (0)  

   messageicon just seen a man wearing pinki capri's, must be a foreigner..
←Rate | 07-19-2010 01:23 by Uche617 Comments (1)  

   messageicon If you are brave to say "good bye", life will reward you with a new "hello"
←Rate | 07-19-2010 00:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works
←Rate | 07-18-2010 23:42 by RoN Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I say "I understand", it doesn't mean I agree, it doesn't mean I understand, it certainly doesn't not mean I'm listening.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 23:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon She came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, she damn left & I was hurt!!... stupid mosquito!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 23:32 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do girls run from the ones that make them happy, and fight for the ones that make them cry?
←Rate | 07-18-2010 23:12 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children
←Rate | 07-18-2010 22:40 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ladies, just a reminder...the same rule applies to spray tans as is does to Make up...less is more!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 22:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon OK Fellas, this one is for you. Be careful who you pick up and take to bed. With wigs, weaves, fake nails, padded bras and pants; you could go to be with a girl that looks like Janet Jackson and wake up with one that looks like Tito!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 22:18 Comments (0)  

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