Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Traffic lights are society's way of mocking the colorblind.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 17:55 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Behind every great man is a ninja. And behind that ninja is another ninja.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 17:55 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon OMG, you drink near beer? That's like when my sister circled all the Waldo's in my "Where's Waldo Book?" totally worthless and not enjoyable.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 17:05 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  

   messageicon In a Relationship w/ Friday. "I'm really happy to see you again, you know how much I love you and miss you. Although we only see each other once a week, you never fail to make me happy. What I really like the most about you is that UNLIKE GIRLS, you don't
←Rate | 07-16-2010 17:04 by AJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Was once told that you will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong the time I realized it was a figure of speech... She had already hit the ground.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 17:01 by derek Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some people should shove sticks up their a*ses like lollipops cause they are nothing but f**king suckers!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 16:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The reason guys don't have problems with underarm fat? We were born with shake weights already attached
←Rate | 07-16-2010 16:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when they fill out a job application.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 16:02 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
←Rate | 07-16-2010 16:00 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon sometimes feels like a booger on the dashboard of life
←Rate | 07-16-2010 15:49 by gator Comments (0)  

   messageicon didn't think I needed a dude for anything...but batteries aren't gonna help me move this furniture around.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 15:02 by bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just ordered a cup of coffee from a BP gas stations and the attendant spilled it... why am I not surprised!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 14:42 by geez Comments (0)  

   messageicon Are you into fitness? Then you shouldn't have a problem fitness d*** in ur mouth!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 14:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Plano TX, where guys show up in ed hardy T- shirts glittered up, fake bake tan, dragon ball z hair, wearing sunglasses indoors. Thank you for making meeting women so easy for me.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 14:12 by Sean Mitchell Comments (0)  

   messageicon Plano, where guys show up in ed hardy shirt glittered up, fake bake tan, dragon ball z hair, wearing sunglasses indoors.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 14:09 by Sean Mitchell Comments (0)  

   messageicon So, ladies..... when you don't feel like using the "Shakeweight," do you tell yourself you have a headache?
←Rate | 07-16-2010 13:39 by bigedusw Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do NOT download the Mel Gibson app on your new iPhone. It attacks all your other apps, then implodes.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 13:01 by jdpower Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinking about some chicken fried, cold beer, and wearing a pair of jeans that fit just right!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 13:01 by rturcotte Comments (0)  

   messageicon ‎*disclamer* no animals were harmed in the crafting of this status update. Stunt doubles were substituted and all theories were tested on a closed course.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 12:58 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Was in hospital waiting room and had sat on a newspaper that was on the chair. This guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" Didn't really know how to respond... So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again...
←Rate | 07-16-2010 12:49 by Tom ... Comments (0)  

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