Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon if at first you don't succeed.... don't be surprised.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 17:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon setting up a mike's hard lemonade stand at the street corner. I dont ID! hurry and get 'em while they're cold!
←Rate | 07-05-2010 16:57 by jb Comments (0)  

   messageicon I still think soccer sucks as bad as ballet.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 15:13 by Andy Comments (0)  

   messageicon just saw a sign on a church that read, "Don't give up. Moses was a basket case too." LOL!
←Rate | 07-05-2010 14:11 by facebook/PrinceOfDiscord Comments (0)  

   messageicon The reason you can't fool all of the people all of the time is because half of them are women.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:59 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon When your favorite song comes on and you excitedly say "Yo this is my jam!" You should know, I die a little bit inside for knowing you.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:47 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon My front door mat actually says "Come back with a warrant."
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:46 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Grandpa's ghost hovers all around the house. It's scary!" "He's not dead! And that's his Hoveround power chair!" "Well, he smells dead."
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:45 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon The squirrels are mocking me by doing that spiral-run-up-a-tree thing. They know I wish I could do that and how stupid I look when I try.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:42 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Suffering from male pattern drunkenness.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:42 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon I didn't call you crazy. All I said was, "you look like you might own 400 cats"
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:41 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know it's a bad traffic jam when people start are sitting on top of their cars..
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:41 by JOser Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am under: paid, pressure, followed, rated, the gun, the radar, the influence, the weather and the wrong impression. WTF
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:40 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon So what's the dating website for drunk, blonde, recent college graduates who do not want to find a job called?
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:39 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Revolutionary War went on for like 8 years, yet we settle for a 3 day weekend? The founders would be so disappointed.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:38 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hearses are so depressing. I'd like my casket transported via segway.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:38 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon America: We blow sh*t up better than the rest of yous funny-talkin' countries.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:37 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nobody gets treated worse than a fast food worker who gets an order wrong.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:36 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon No I wasn't born in a barn, but you know who was? Jesus.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:36 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have mosquito bites on my feet and I'm thinking the knee is probably the easiest point of amputation.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:36 by Joser Comments (0)  

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