Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 16:28 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was talking to my friends Tom and Dave and they said " hey, do you know Doug has two a$$holes"? I said "What???" They said "It's true. Today we were walking with Doug and we heard somebody say 'Look, there's Doug.With those two a$$holes'"
←Rate | 07-03-2010 15:31 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear At&t, can you please stopping dropping my phone calls. I know the iPhone is a great money maker for you, but you guys don't enough bandwidth to service your FLIPPIN handheld media devices plus my FLIPPIN PHONE CALLS... mmmmkkkay thanks
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon List of things I've accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:40 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon One of the major benefits of using a combined 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner is having enough room leftover on the shower caddy for the beer.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:39 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone with a pool want to be my new best friend?
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:39 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon They call it "Cash for Gold" because "Cash for all the Sh*t You Stole to Support Your Meth Habit" didn't have the same ring to it.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:38 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon My new hobby is intentionally putting myself into awkward situations
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:37 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon So Andy Murray is out of Wimbledon - he was said to look absolutely distraught. I'm so pleased he's cheered up a bit ......
←Rate | 07-03-2010 13:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Must have finally caught "Beiber Fever", Every time I hear about this prick, I wanna puke...
←Rate | 07-03-2010 13:24 by Jimmie Watkins Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing says your celebrating the birth of are Nation, like the smell of Gunpowder and Beer..
←Rate | 07-03-2010 13:14 by Wolf Comments (3)  

   messageicon patrick swayze sang she's like the wind. On the way to work this morning the wind blew me all over the road.... if only patricks song were more true.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 11:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing Says You Are Celebrating the Birth of Our Nation, Like Blowing Up a Small Part of It!!!
←Rate | 07-03-2010 11:12 by Gasparilla Comments (1)  

   messageicon For an added bonus the shake weight will squirt your face with water after a 15 minute workout.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 10:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon America has a whole day dedicated to a film starring Will Smith...
←Rate | 07-03-2010 10:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I spent most of my money on cars,fast women, and motorcycles....and the rest of it I just wasted.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 09:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm pissed...I signed up on Facebook almost a year ago and have not received a single phone call.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 09:36 by GaryB Comments (0)  

   messageicon Has anybody ever enjoyed moving ever? I now hate our mattress.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 09:22 by @seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Type 'things I did last night' into google and hit the I'm feeling lucky button
←Rate | 07-03-2010 09:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it."
←Rate | 07-03-2010 08:42 Comments (0)  

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