Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Dinner is no fun anymore since I stopped pretending I'm on TV when I'm cooking.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 17:38 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just watch a naked Chinese man run into a wall at full speed with a hard on. He broke his nose.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 17:37 by Joser Comments (4)  

   messageicon Sure, I've done bad things in my life. But not "going to hell" bad. More like "Jesus is going to make me his b*tch in heaven" bad.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 17:37 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ozzie Guillen is going off the rails on a crazy train........
←Rate | 06-11-2010 17:37 by Bill Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can everyone just go n help get all the water out of BP's oil!! Thanx!!
←Rate | 06-11-2010 17:31 by kevin Comments (0)  

   messageicon Starting a sentence with “If you ask me” almost always indicates that no one asked you.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 15:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon giving a warning to America.... Wayne Rooney.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 15:54 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  

   messageicon To the girl who cut us off on the freeway. "James Joyce" told me to tell yoU - See You In Tea!
←Rate | 06-11-2010 14:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere. The pessimist sees only the red light. But the truly wise person is color blind.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 14:13 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon got a call today from a burial place, wanted to sell me on cremation. They told me I could pay for all services in advance. I asked, “What if I am in a horrible car fire, does my family get a refund? Or, do you burn me up again like refried–John
←Rate | 06-11-2010 14:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shrek beat Sex and The City at the box office this past weekend. It was quite a showdown between two very unique movies. One is about a hideous creature and all of it's friends, and the other one is Shrek.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 13:55 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon attempting to give a damn: ███████████████████] 99% Complete... ERROR!: Unable to give a damn.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 13:38 by Nate Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders why passing dog walkers insist on introducing their dogs to each other, when the animals clearly act as if they want to tear out each others' throats.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 13:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon figures the only thing worse than finding out that you were given up for adoption would be learning that it was Rick Astley who gave you up.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 12:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon would you like that sea bass regular or unleaded?
←Rate | 06-11-2010 11:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon sick of the jehovahs witness knocking on my door. So I'm making my cat take karate lessons. If they come around again, Fluffy is gonna kick some serious ass!
←Rate | 06-11-2010 11:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon watching the 2010 World Cup (and then I found the remote)
←Rate | 06-11-2010 11:20 by AMS Comments (11)  

   messageicon save the trees, smoke a cigarette.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 11:01 by levelz Comments (0)  

   messageicon smarter then the averige beare!! ...oh dangit, maybe not
←Rate | 06-11-2010 10:42 by Chris S Comments (0)  

   messageicon How can big pharma make millions of dollars selling laxatives to the elderly, when Taco Bell can manage to do the trick for $2.99?
←Rate | 06-11-2010 07:57 Comments (0)  

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