Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon To the girl who cut us off on the freeway. "James Joyce" told me to tell yoU - See You In Tea!
←Rate | 06-11-2010 14:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere. The pessimist sees only the red light. But the truly wise person is color blind.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 14:13 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon got a call today from a burial place, wanted to sell me on cremation. They told me I could pay for all services in advance. I asked, “What if I am in a horrible car fire, does my family get a refund? Or, do you burn me up again like refried–John
←Rate | 06-11-2010 14:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shrek beat Sex and The City at the box office this past weekend. It was quite a showdown between two very unique movies. One is about a hideous creature and all of it's friends, and the other one is Shrek.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 13:55 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon attempting to give a damn: ███████████████████] 99% Complete... ERROR!: Unable to give a damn.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 13:38 by Nate Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders why passing dog walkers insist on introducing their dogs to each other, when the animals clearly act as if they want to tear out each others' throats.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 13:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon figures the only thing worse than finding out that you were given up for adoption would be learning that it was Rick Astley who gave you up.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 12:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon would you like that sea bass regular or unleaded?
←Rate | 06-11-2010 11:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon sick of the jehovahs witness knocking on my door. So I'm making my cat take karate lessons. If they come around again, Fluffy is gonna kick some serious ass!
←Rate | 06-11-2010 11:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon watching the 2010 World Cup (and then I found the remote)
←Rate | 06-11-2010 11:20 by AMS Comments (11)  

   messageicon save the trees, smoke a cigarette.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 11:01 by levelz Comments (0)  

   messageicon smarter then the averige beare!! ...oh dangit, maybe not
←Rate | 06-11-2010 10:42 by Chris S Comments (0)  

   messageicon How can big pharma make millions of dollars selling laxatives to the elderly, when Taco Bell can manage to do the trick for $2.99?
←Rate | 06-11-2010 07:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon not a stalker, I'm just bad with goodbyes.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 07:27 by Leeferd Comments (0)  

   messageicon It doesn't value to play ,except you play to the end
←Rate | 06-11-2010 06:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tourist Resort is a place where no one knows how unimportant you are at home.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 06:14 by naishadh86 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 06:14 by naishadh86 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The saying goes "Always wear cleaned underwear, you never know when your going to be hit by a bus." But isn't it when you get hit by the bus, you SH*T yourself, already ruining your clean knickers?
←Rate | 06-11-2010 05:10 by Big Uce 79 Comments (1)  

   messageicon As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio
←Rate | 06-11-2010 02:04 by @seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Move out of the way children i've been waiting 11 years to see toy story 3...
←Rate | 06-11-2010 01:26 by Señor Frog Comments (0)  

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