Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5139 of 5203

   messageicon The eternal struggle: Tops of feet are sunburnt. Lighter is dead. Corner store is two blocks away. They have a sign: no shirt no shoes no service. I don't own flip flops. This is going to suck balls.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 16:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon enjoying the peace and quiet... the voices in my head aren't speaking to me at the moment!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 15:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 14:54 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon - My wife said she is going to leave me if I dont stop my bad habbits. I nearly choked on my toe nail.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 14:05 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - For sale:- One pair of world cup football boots, mint condition, no scuffs, Contact Wayne Rooney for more info.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 14:03 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - I don't need Anger Management, I need for people to not piss me off!!!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 14:01 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - If the camera lens is round, why is the picture rectangular?
←Rate | 07-04-2010 14:00 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - Justin AmatterofsecondswasknownworldwidetobeacompletedoucheBieber.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 13:57 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman is a highly developed, deeply intelligent, infinitely complicated being. And it needs to be carefully tricked into doing things.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 10:05 by Emmy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Also, when asked by police if you have any weapons or drugs, never say "Why? What do you need?"
←Rate | 07-04-2010 10:00 by l33t Comments (0)  


   messageicon America is getting up there in age, but i'd still do her. God Bless America!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 09:26 by Brado B Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy 234th Birthday,America! :)
←Rate | 07-04-2010 07:18 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If She Sounds Cute On The Phone, Add 20 lbs !!!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 06:51 by EDK Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like to encourage you all to celebrate this 4th of July in a truly patriotic manner: Give a liberal something they utterly deserve and desperately need: A fist across their face. Happy 4th, everyone! Stay safe!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 05:55 by Demon Comments (0)  


   messageicon You`ve got to admire Emile Heskey , he has a disasterous world cup , he comes home , puts on a dress and wins the womens title at wimbledon......
←Rate | 07-04-2010 04:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 00:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves to be the first person to use a new bar of soap
←Rate | 07-04-2010 00:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon remembering how when he was young and only kiss on the lips was a big deal, now a days it's like let's cut the bullsh*t let's have sexy time."
←Rate | 07-03-2010 23:04 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 21:45 by shoesan Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do the Argentina World Cup soccer team and BP have in common? A Messi!
←Rate | 07-03-2010 19:25 by Kado Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left