Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Whenever I say, "I don't mean that in a bad way," I usually do.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 17:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I may have misunderstood my boss when she told me that she loved seeing me hard at work.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 17:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever someone says "Expect the unexpected" I get the urge to smack them and say "It's not as good as it sounds, is it?"
←Rate | 02-26-2011 17:16 by shoesan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctors were stunned by how many years she lived without a personality...
←Rate | 02-26-2011 17:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never wake a sleeping woman. Because then she'll be awake.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 17:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At a cemetery, looking for my name on tombstones. This is the Goth version of Googling yourself
←Rate | 02-26-2011 17:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, who put super glue in my K why Jelly Warming Sensation bottle?
←Rate | 02-26-2011 16:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear MTV, I was wondering if I could get my "M" back..... you know, since you're not using it. Sincerely, _usic
←Rate | 02-26-2011 16:34 by @Bdog712 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm up way too early for someone who wasn't planning on seizing the day.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 16:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like photography, we develop from the negatives.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 16:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon hope my wife gets her next period in a shark tank
←Rate | 02-26-2011 15:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life can be summed up in an overwhelming urge to wash my hands.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 14:58 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon With gas prices headed towards $4.00/gal, I think its time we formed an intergovernmental organization of oil consumers. We should call it the Organization of Fuel Using Countries, and tell OPEC that if they keep it up they'll be hearing from OFUC.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 14:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex-wife says that she will dance on my grave. I've now arranged to be buried at sea
←Rate | 02-26-2011 14:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Missing wife and dog. Reward for dog.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 14:08 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 14:02 by Game Comments (0)  


   messageicon Been eating thin mints like crazy and haven't lost a pound
←Rate | 02-26-2011 13:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To file a complaint, click the x on tha top right corner of your screen!
←Rate | 02-26-2011 13:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon $60 to fill my gas tank last night. It's the apocalypse!!! I'm going to Walmart, buying me a water hose and I'm going on a siphon spree.........
←Rate | 02-26-2011 13:17 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess it time to test my theory that Vodka (being alcohol) should kill the flu virus.......
←Rate | 02-26-2011 12:59 by scottyp Comments (0)  



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