Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I wish bugs understood the concept of personal space.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 09:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The best part of waking up . . . is going back to sleep.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 09:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 09:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You never learn anything by doing it right.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 09:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon $100 says I don't have a gambling problem.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 09:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon All I want is some ketchup packets placed in the bag, without having to ask!
←Rate | 07-31-2010 09:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Patience is not one of my virtues. Hell, what am I talking about? Virtue is not one of my virtues.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 09:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 08:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon making Holy Water by boiling the Hell out of it.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 03:42 by smeebert Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders if real mafia dudes sit around playing "Boring-ass normal people wars"?
←Rate | 07-31-2010 01:24 by Demon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was late to work, and my boss told me I should've been at work by 8:30 this morning. I asked him "why? what happened then?"
←Rate | 07-31-2010 01:05 by HOME Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I were to go to hell, it would take at least a week to realize I wasn't at work.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 01:04 by HOME Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey, whats a four letter term used to call a woman ending in "unt"?......the answer is "Aunt"
←Rate | 07-31-2010 00:26 by Zack Comments (1)  

   messageicon Ellen DeGeneres finds it hard to judge people and hurt their feeling so she is leaving American Idol. Producers have put in a call to Mel Gibson.
←Rate | 07-30-2010 23:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if I had a peso for every lame mafia wars update you posted this week, I could afford to put a real hit on your azz!
←Rate | 07-30-2010 22:54 by rush1oc Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think I see a light through the tunnel...hope its my friends with a 2 million watt spotlight and not a train....
←Rate | 07-30-2010 22:25 by @tessharley Comments (1)  

   messageicon yeah she was hot...til she opened up her mouth and the trailer fell out
←Rate | 07-30-2010 21:45 by jeniffer sturgis Comments (0)  

   messageicon Im better at sex than anyone; now all I need is a partner.
←Rate | 07-30-2010 20:59 by Chapin Comments (0)  

   messageicon playing 'call of duty' on my laptop on the plane was a bad idea
←Rate | 07-30-2010 20:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do you ever look at girls' pictures on facebook and feel them up with your cursor??? --uhhh, either do i!
←Rate | 07-30-2010 19:55 by geez Comments (0)  

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