Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon hates it when old relatives come up to you at weddings and say, "You'll be next, dear". I'm sure they wouldn't be too impressed if I started saying that to them at funerals.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:11 by kittykat Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks a city built on rock 'n roll would be structurally unsound.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just had a bunch of underwear stolen. Cops are making a brief inquiry.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:10 by kittykat Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that 99% of the people in this world are complete morons. It's a good job I'm in the other 2%.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:08 by kittykat Comments (0)  

   messageicon fired her masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:07 by kittykat Comments (0)  

   messageicon discovered last weekend that if you play a Nickelback album backwards, you hear satanic messages. What's even worse is, if you play it forward, you hear Nickelback.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:06 by kittykat Comments (0)  

   messageicon used to work for H&R Block, but it was too taxing.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:05 by kittykat Comments (0)  

   messageicon waiting for boomerangs to make a comeback
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:04 by kittykat Comments (0)  

   messageicon In Cincinnati, a women gave birth to two 10-pound baby boys. The kids are named Strech and Mark.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 21:50 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Does the career advice, "Come early on your first day" apply in the porn business?
←Rate | 07-20-2010 21:22 by GB Comments (0)  

   messageicon Knows that some people are like slinkies, there not really good for anything but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 21:18 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  

   messageicon knows that arguing with you is like running a race in the Special Olympics, you might win but in the end your still a retard.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 21:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sorry, constantly quoting random bible scriptures isnt going to convince me. I could quote one the Twilight books and be just as profound. Twilight Eclipse, Chapter one verse three, "The."
←Rate | 07-20-2010 21:12 by Tracy Comments (5)  

   messageicon knows that hangovers are Gods way of saying you kicked ass last night.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 21:12 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  

   messageicon Many will come and go but I know the diffrence between a woman and a ho so if you text or call and you don't hear from me you know which one you must be:)
←Rate | 07-20-2010 21:02 by S Comments (2)  

   messageicon wants you to know... Suck all you want, He will make more.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 20:57 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  

   messageicon once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 20:57 by katinthehat Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hopes he doesnt black out, cause this is awesome!
←Rate | 07-20-2010 20:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  

   messageicon got a phone call from the credit card company this morning, telling me that I have "outstanding payments". I said "Why, thank you very much!".
←Rate | 07-20-2010 20:54 by katinthehat Comments (0)  

   messageicon ‎~ Lindsay Lohan staggered into court. The judge explained, "Ms Lohan, you've been brought here for drinking", to which Lindsay replied, "Great! When do we get started?!".
←Rate | 07-20-2010 20:53 by katinthehat Comments (0)  

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