Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF

Search Messages:
Page: 5137 of 5273

   messageicon Wish you were here w/me n my room, on my bed, lights off, under my sheets. So that I can show you my new watch dat glows n da dark!
←Rate | 07-22-2010 21:39 by captainate Comments (0)  

   messageicon no those pants don't make you look fat, it's your ass that makes you look fat.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 21:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do ducks play "me, me, goose"?
←Rate | 07-22-2010 21:31 by Status Stalker Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've been poor and happy and now I'm ready to be rich and miserable. Gimme!
←Rate | 07-22-2010 21:30 by Status Stalker Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've never been to jail, but I did get stuck in a pair of skinny jeans at an American Eagle once.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 21:30 by Status Stalker Comments (0)  

   messageicon $3.88 until my Visa is maxed out. I'm struggling between the #4 at Burger King or shampoo.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 21:29 by Status Stalker Comments (0)  

   messageicon The more I think about the lack of thought I put into thinking makes me wonder what was I thinking.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 21:29 by Status Stalker Comments (0)  

   messageicon How many times do I have to roll my eyes to burn any calories?
←Rate | 07-22-2010 21:28 by Status Stalker Comments (0)  

   messageicon thanx to my ex GF,I now have to shave between eyebrows because "stupid me" let her wax there one nite for sh*ts and giggles
←Rate | 07-22-2010 20:53 by twizzler Comments (0)  

   messageicon I tried the Facebook Friend Finder and it showed me all the people who deleted me, I think its a tad bit faulty or should be renamed!
←Rate | 07-22-2010 20:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I feel like I hit rock bottom...bouncer at the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 19:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks rap promotes punching, boastfulness, and disrespect toward ho's.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 19:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon she's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice..yup, I'd still hit it
←Rate | 07-22-2010 19:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon the only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 19:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have Bieber Fever. I listened to a song by Justin Bieber and now have a 103 degree temperature, I'm throwing up, and have a huge headache.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 17:44 by jdpower Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd like to be a bird, not for the freedom and beauty of flight...I just want to be able to sh*t on people like a WWII bomber pilot.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 17:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon why are men so smart during sex? because hes plugged into a genius
←Rate | 07-22-2010 16:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Flying Spaghetti Book: Garlic 3:16, And the Flying Spaghetti Monster so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son and that who so ever should believe in him should not perish but have everlasting pasta, rAmen.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 15:48 by Tracy Comments (0)  

   messageicon went into BP after getting subway. and spilled my slushy all over the floor. and yelled "YOU DONT LIKE HOW THAT FEEELS HUH!" and left.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 15:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Funny how people get easily buzzed about the new iphone and droid phones. Meanwhile, China and Japan are sitting back laughing at us with their better (possible) 5G phones.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 15:25 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left