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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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going to start "The Gas is to Damm High Party" who's with me!
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02-04-2011 09:40
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My give a damn maybe busted, but my can of whoop ass is ready to pop.
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02-04-2011 09:27
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Valentines advance: If she goes to the party, watches the entire Super Bowl and has a good time with you then she is valentine material.
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02-04-2011 09:19
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I saw a sign earlier that said 'Watch Batteries Fitted Here'. I couldn't see the entertainment in it myself.
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02-04-2011 09:16 by
@clarkysj
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Officer says "Gee, Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?
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02-04-2011 08:49 by
bridget
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Americans treat the Constitution the same way they treat the Bible: Despite never having read or understood it, they are quite certain they know both.
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02-04-2011 08:47 by
bridget
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If it squirms it's Biology; if it stinks it's Chemistry; if it doesn't work it's Physics and if you can't understand it, it's Mathematics.
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02-04-2011 08:46 by
bridget
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A neurotic is a person who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the person who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent.
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02-04-2011 08:46 by
bridget
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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities. Bill
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02-04-2011 08:45 by
bridget
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Foolishness always results when the tongue outraces the brain.
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02-04-2011 08:44 by
bridget
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Its funny how Governments evolution is opposite as to mans evolution.
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02-04-2011 08:44 by
SKIDROW
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If I seduce it, really get it going, then leave it alone for ten minutes,maybe this paper will finish itself.
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02-04-2011 08:42 by
bridget
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You know when you are getting old when, you finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.
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02-04-2011 08:40 by
bridget
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Honestly, I'd hit Anderson Cooper too if I had the chance.
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02-04-2011 08:33 by
1234
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Hardee's is shutting down its 32 franchises in Egypt. There's Hardee's in Egypt? No wonder they don't like us.
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02-04-2011 08:32 by
1234
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if you don't care about my past, then why do you keep asking about it?
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02-04-2011 08:25
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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
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02-04-2011 08:17 by
punny
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♫ Jesus freaks, out in the streets, handing tickets out for God...♫
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02-04-2011 08:12
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i dont care how much ice cream you have your not gonna put that banana there.
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02-04-2011 07:32
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I get distracted by all the meats in the deli section, must be my short attention spam.
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02-04-2011 07:00 by
TC
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