Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
←Rate | 06-12-2010 16:20 by one Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I grow up I wanna become a civil engineer, and design septic tanks for playgrounds. So little kids can take Sh•ts.! :-)
←Rate | 06-12-2010 15:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My motto is "never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto.
←Rate | 06-12-2010 14:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're happy and you know it, share your meds.
←Rate | 06-12-2010 14:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon The chicken never actuall crossed the road... it was a government conspiracy to distract us from the real problem at hand... Where the hell is Waldo?
←Rate | 06-12-2010 13:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Duran Duran have reworked one of their classic singles for the World Cup. It goes, 'His name is Rio and he watches from the stands...'
←Rate | 06-12-2010 13:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon ""Daddy, whats a transvestite?” “Go ask your mother…he'll tell you.”
←Rate | 06-12-2010 12:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.
←Rate | 06-12-2010 12:08 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon a World Cup soccer game is like watching a bunch of nerds in a night club... A bunch of guys trying their best, and nobody scores...
←Rate | 06-12-2010 11:35 by AMS Comments (0)  

   messageicon So Adrian Peterson misses "mandatory" training camp for "Adrian Peterson Day" in some town in Texas, and its some big deal... My question is how do the celebrate "AP Day"? Bake some turnovers, drop things all day and accomplish nothing major?
←Rate | 06-12-2010 11:24 by AMS Comments (3)  

   messageicon Tip this cab driver $5 he continued staring at me like I was going to give him more with his hand open, I took my $5 back, the tip is be grateful and stop being greedy
←Rate | 06-12-2010 11:17 by mhenry Comments (0)  

   messageicon Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
←Rate | 06-12-2010 10:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I miss the days when covering my eyes would make me invisible...
←Rate | 06-12-2010 10:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think this day just took a hard right onto WTF blvd...
←Rate | 06-12-2010 10:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon my two buddies walked into a bar, but I ducked
←Rate | 06-12-2010 10:24 by greg2missy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just accidentally sat through the commercials of a show recorded on my DVR. Every time I do that, a part of me dies...
←Rate | 06-12-2010 10:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon My plans for this weekend are so top secret even I don't know what they are.
←Rate | 06-12-2010 10:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tried to watch the World Cup....Why does it sound like there is a pi$$ed off swarm of hornets at every game????
←Rate | 06-12-2010 09:51 by greg2missy Comments (3)  

   messageicon Thinking of getting a HUGE TATTOO on my neck....Oh ya, that's a good look!!!
←Rate | 06-12-2010 09:50 by greg2missy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Spys search social networking sites like Facebook for info. It would be great if we could just start posting all kinds of bogus info just to mess with their searches!
←Rate | 06-12-2010 09:37 Comments (0)  

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