Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Try telling that to a heart attack victim.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 07:03 by jediganesh Comments (0)  

   messageicon its time for you to go've been there to support me and when I couldn't control myself you took the load in your stride, but now after 7 years you've become just too damn clingy....goodbye my sweet little Spiderman underpants...I will miss you
←Rate | 07-18-2010 04:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I wanted to know whats on your mind I'd splatter it on the wall and see for myself.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 04:38 by Alex Comments (0)  

   messageicon If a tree falls in a ocean does it not make potato chips?!?! yeah I'm drunk
←Rate | 07-18-2010 04:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon people saymotivation doesnt last.well,neither does bathing-thats why we recommend it daily.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 02:45 by hamiisi Comments (0)  

   messageicon life has no remote.change it yourself
←Rate | 07-18-2010 02:43 by hamiisi Comments (1)  

   messageicon Next time you shake someones hand, keep in mind that that is probably the hand they masturbate with...
←Rate | 07-18-2010 01:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon so glad he can't get anyone pregnant from poking all these lovely ladies on fb...he hopes! O.o
←Rate | 07-18-2010 01:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why when you wanna break up you hear this "u will never find someone like me?" NO Serious do you think that I leave you For being with someone like u????!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 00:36 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Team Edward? Team Jacob? How about Team Dracula you pansies!!!!
←Rate | 07-17-2010 23:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon So many things remind me of You, mostly when I sit on the toilet.
←Rate | 07-17-2010 23:35 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon the only thing that keeps water from being a ho is the 2
←Rate | 07-17-2010 22:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon walked past the fridge last night and thought she heard two onions singing a Bee Gees song but when she opened the fridge door it was just chives talking.
←Rate | 07-17-2010 21:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My husband asked for breakfast in bed so I told him sleep in the kitchen ;)
←Rate | 07-17-2010 21:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon downhill. Because thats how I roll!
←Rate | 07-17-2010 21:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon in a related story, I have two brothers, two nieces, several cousins, aunts and uncles.
←Rate | 07-17-2010 20:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Utlimate compliment for a woman: I'm not drunk, and you are still cute!
←Rate | 07-17-2010 18:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why be so serious ? It's not like we're going to get out of it alive. so livin up fu(kers. an make it a great day for someone
←Rate | 07-17-2010 17:39 by glenn Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bet you're one of those people who take speed limit signs seriously.
←Rate | 07-17-2010 15:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I attend weddings purely to be fortunate enough to hear those two little words that always bring tears to my eyes - "open bar"
←Rate | 07-17-2010 15:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

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