Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon just had to separate 5 loads of laundry....and they will just have to sit there and think about what they've done....then and only then will I deal with them....
←Rate | 02-27-2011 14:02 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm more obsessed with breast and thighs then Colonel Sanders...
←Rate | 02-27-2011 14:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a shame lipstick doesn't do what it says.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 14:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
←Rate | 02-27-2011 13:51 by seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part of telling your friend you got laid off is probably when they try to high five you at the "laid" part.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 13:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you asked me to guess what perfume the lady next to me is wearing, I think I'd have to say every one she owns.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 13:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Xbox Kinect, if I wanted to use my whole body to play sports, I would just play sports.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 13:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Starbucks is now offering a cup that you climb into and have coffee poured all over you.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 13:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
←Rate | 02-27-2011 13:35 Comments (1)  


   messageicon May I suggest johnny walker. At least you go down in style !
←Rate | 02-27-2011 13:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who would in a fight between Walker, Texas Ranger and Lone Wolf McQuade?
←Rate | 02-27-2011 13:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After pulling an all-nighter, I had the pleasure of meeting my girlfriend's mother for the very first time. She walked in on me in the bathroom...I had fallen asleep while taking a dump...
←Rate | 02-27-2011 12:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So all men suck huh? Well After awhile, the picker needs to realize its on them for always picking out the bad apples from the orchard.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 12:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time...
←Rate | 02-27-2011 12:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "No, ladies, you can't play with us, but you can dress like sleazy and encourage us." The guy who invented cheerleading.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 12:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Eskimos moved in next door. Can I still call them that? I don't have to say "Arcto–Americans" or some crap, right?
←Rate | 02-27-2011 12:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Petrichor, n. the smell of rain on dry earth
←Rate | 02-27-2011 12:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ate all of the Girl Scout cookies : ( Do you think Michelle Obama would mind if I buy some more??
←Rate | 02-27-2011 12:10 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I want your opinion I'll......actually forget that....I'll never want your opinion.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 11:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i was moving with the flow of speeding traffic and got pulled over,i asked the cop "why me,everyone was speeding" cop asked "have you ever been fishing?" I said "sure". cop replies "ever catch them all".... well played Law Dog,well played
←Rate | 02-27-2011 11:33 Comments (0)  



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