Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF

Search Messages:
Page: 5121 of 5228

   messageicon KY should just go ahead and make lip gloss already.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 18:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Rule of thumb when hitting on co-workers... if you're cute, it's flirting. If you're not... it's sexual harrassment.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 17:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon working up one hell of a sweat by wearing my "Snuggie" while using "Shakeweights", thank God for "Shamwow" to mop up this mess.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 17:23 by derek Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate those ambulances that drive really slow with with their sirens on. There's one behind me now. So annoying.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 16:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I signed into Facebook so I could find out where all my friends will be this weekend. I now have a list of places to avoid. Strategery, folks.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 16:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I poked as much in college as I do on fb, it would have taken me 8 yrs to get an Associates Degree!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 16:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If love is blind, and hate is deaf, you would think stupid would be mute and yet she just keeps on talking...
←Rate | 07-18-2010 16:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Asshole white cars that look like cop cars! I just chugged my beer really fast for nothing!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 16:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon focus on living, dying is the easy part
←Rate | 07-18-2010 13:47 by Andrew Comments (0)  

   messageicon correction: says confidence is the way to a woman's heart, or atleast into her pants
←Rate | 07-18-2010 13:45 Comments (1)  

   messageicon confidence is the way to a woman's hear, or atleast into her pants
←Rate | 07-18-2010 13:44 by Andrew Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..wonders what would happen if she DIDN'T place the microwave popcorn This Side Up..hmmm
←Rate | 07-18-2010 13:31 by lemonpilllow Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I got poked in real life as much as I get poked on Facebook, I'd be one happy woman and would never leave my room!!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 12:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Living on Earth may be expensive...but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun :)~
←Rate | 07-18-2010 11:30 by Gr`Apes Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love my girlfriend! but my wife hate her.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 11:04 by Qan Comments (0)  

   messageicon John Mellencamp was a visionary because he knew that Cougar in 2010 would have a very different meaning
←Rate | 07-18-2010 11:00 by Leeferd Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let's change the name of the Republicans and Democrats to DUMB & DUMBER.....
←Rate | 07-18-2010 10:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A teacher asks ”wot part of the body goes to heaven first?”A child replies”feet- coz every nite I c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 10:02 by Craig Comments (0)  

   messageicon so as I am leaving to go to work I go to unlock the door to leave...I can feel heat radiating from the door from the outside..I have always been told that if you feel heat you should not open the I guess I should turn around go back to bed I sh
←Rate | 07-18-2010 09:10 by jamiegulledge Comments (0)  

   messageicon not a Russian spy; regardless of what the news says!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 09:05 Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left