Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon No one is as ugly as his driver's license, nor as good-looking as his Facebook profile pic.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 11:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I predict that if, by 21 December 2012, the world doesn't end, there will be a huge baby boom in September 2013.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 10:57 by bigedusw Comments (0)  

   messageicon things that last longer than a Rick Pitino sexual encounter: 16 second Abs, a Soulja Boy Mix tape, a knock-knock joke, a lap at the Indy 500, a stop light, Brett Favre's retirement, a game of Tippy Cup, an NBA shot clock, Usain Bolt running 200 meters...
←Rate | 08-02-2010 10:55 by elsparty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think I want a 3D bigscreen, now I just need 3 grand....
←Rate | 08-02-2010 10:29 by Bill Comments (0)  

   messageicon I choose my outfit with great care every day, because if today is the day I become a zombie, these are the clothes I'll be wearing forever.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 08:40 by CS Comments (0)  

   messageicon has thrown games of "Hangman" to intentionally kill that guy.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 07:58 by Leeferd Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some slut I know posted her Facebook status as "I've just had my period." At first, I thought "Shut up, we don't need to know that. How disgusting." Then I realized it was quite funny as all the dudes she has slept with recently all "liked" it.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 07:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If a man won't lift a finger to see you & spend time with u, it's time for you to lift 5 fingers & wave goodbye!
←Rate | 08-02-2010 06:59 by SUPA SAM Comments (0)  

   messageicon I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 06:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we kiss, sleep and dream.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 06:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every time I hear a recording of my own voice, I'm convinced that I would not be friends with me if I were someone else.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 06:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Live every week like it's shark week.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 06:34 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Newton's Pee law : No matter how much you press it, shake it, rotate it, slap it and pull it. the last drop of urine for your underwear. ;)
←Rate | 08-02-2010 04:40 by Mr Mad Man Comments (0)  

   messageicon Only on True Blood can you have a group of guys standing next to eachother buck naked, and have it not be gay.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 01:42 by bluefeather Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate sharks! Can't there be a my little pony week?
←Rate | 08-02-2010 01:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Looking through a girls photos and thinking "slut..slut..slut..slut" :D
←Rate | 08-02-2010 00:47 by roN Comments (0)  

   messageicon What do whales eat? Fish and ships.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 00:30 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you're getting old when you got to scroll down to find your birth year!
←Rate | 08-02-2010 00:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon has mistakenly used Axe Freeze in place of body wash and now everything is tingling!!
←Rate | 08-02-2010 00:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon you have only one advantage over me YOU CAN KISS MY ASS AND I CAN'T ;)
←Rate | 08-01-2010 23:35 by BEGO Comments (0)  

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