Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 16:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My seatbelt makes me feel so secure ... Like nothing can get me... I love how it protects me so..... ;)
←Rate | 07-29-2010 16:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My dog can lick his own balls. Seriously, I don't care how many times he makes those puppy dog eyes at me.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 14:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its time for a "It was one of those kinda days at work today." beer.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 14:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon there a cure for being sick & tired of being sick & tired???
←Rate | 07-29-2010 14:09 by @Steady | Tags: Filtered Comments (1)  

   messageicon The most disturbing part of those Orkin commercials is that the people seem used to speaking with 6 foot tall insects.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 14:01 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whats better than winning the lottery? Winning it the day after your divorce comes through.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 13:58 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today's Kama Sutra position is The Underpaid Employee. It involves bending over backwards for the boss while kissing his a*s at the same time
←Rate | 07-29-2010 13:32 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon woman are magic. They can get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard
←Rate | 07-29-2010 12:54 by justin cyder Comments (0)  

   messageicon you know you're having a busy day when you can't find time to update your Facebook status.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon its the weekend so live it up, charge it down, puff it off, smash a line, blow out blind and destroy your mind!!
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:51 by SUPA SAM Comments (0)  

   messageicon ‎...Is it just me or is Ed Hardy and Affliction in an all out war with each other to make the douchiest t-shirt possible. These things are like 95% rhinestones and glitter, these shirts scream I touch myself when I watch Brokeback Mountain.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:42 by JoeyTomatoes Comments (8)  

   messageicon You ever seen someone so gay that you feared for his safety!
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:37 by geez Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love sleep so much that its the first thing I think about when I wake up....
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:35 by geez Comments (0)  

   messageicon WTF? You look like you've been slapped by the Devil....!!!
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:31 by @Steady Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm watching one of those shows where an ugly dude preaches and pretends to heal people. It's called "Oprah"
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 10:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can get your appetite elsewhere, as long as you eat at home.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Woke up naked in a Quick Lube. I'm on the lift. No sign of my car. This can't be good.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:43 by Leeferd Comments (0)  

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