Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Excuse me, are those Bugle Boy Jeans your wearing?
←Rate | 08-06-2010 09:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't seem to turn off the wildlife feature on his GPS... every now and then it tells me, "In 500 feet, bear left!" Like that's not gonna scare the crap out of me!
←Rate | 08-06-2010 09:06 by Mike M Comments (0)  

   messageicon wishing you wouldn't take such steamy showers, it fogs my camera's
←Rate | 08-06-2010 08:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think I smoked less before I quit smoking.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 07:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not sure why I involuntarily fart while I pee but I'm pretty glad I don't involuntarily pee when I fart.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 07:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say dont judge someone by the way they look, but I saw a guy today that I am convinced owns multiple NASCAR tshirts, smokes, and has a child with a rat-tail.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 07:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If its good, it's wonderful, if it's bad, it's regrets.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 07:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Interesting Fact: Put two straws in your mouth: one inside a drink and one outside it. You won't be able to drink through either straw. Try it!
←Rate | 08-06-2010 07:31 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Aren't the "good things that come to those who wait" really just leftovers from people who got there first?
←Rate | 08-06-2010 07:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon History tells a story. That's why you must always clear it before your girlfriend uses the computer.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 07:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon People who always use analogies are like a mosquito in your sleeping bag.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 07:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon nobody understands me quite like the voices in my head. But they are always telling me to do bad things like eat carbs and tip lousy!
←Rate | 08-06-2010 06:23 by gasparilla Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wish you were my room...on my bed...with the lights off..under the I can show you my new watch that glows in the dark!
←Rate | 08-06-2010 05:34 by p3psi Comments (0)  

   messageicon Has a box of tissues,some lotion and a picture of you , I better get a bigger box of tissues .
←Rate | 08-05-2010 23:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon not suffering from Schizophrenia, he/she's quite enjoying it. and so am I.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 22:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Jersey Shore is on tonight? I guess I need to figure out how to get these Valtrex into my DirecTV box then.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 21:51 by jdpower Comments (0)  

   messageicon California judge overturns Proposition 8 gay marriage ban. Williams-Sonoma registry server ban. Williams-Sonoma registry server crashes
←Rate | 08-05-2010 21:46 by jdpower Comments (1)  

   messageicon Better to have people think you are an idiot then opening your mouth and proving them right
←Rate | 08-05-2010 20:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon in the frozen food section at Sam's looking for horny milfs with erect nipples
←Rate | 08-05-2010 20:45 by levon Comments (0)  

   messageicon IRISH and PROUD!
←Rate | 08-05-2010 18:10 by SLAYER Comments (0)  

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