Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I thought you were maybe kinda cute until you took a call on your Bluetooth Douche Detector.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 02:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon For decades now, Mario has been collecting coins. He does nothing with that money. Buy the princess a bodyguard or something.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 02:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I never contradict myself. And if you say otherwise, I will agree with you.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 02:17 by SS Dude Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 02:15 by SS Dude Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ask your doctor if "Shutting the Hell Up" is right for you.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 02:14 by SS Dude Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Patience" is what parents have when there are witnesses.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 02:13 by SS Dude Comments (0)  

   messageicon Guess drunk? I'm what!
←Rate | 08-08-2010 02:12 by SS Dude Comments (0)  

   messageicon I would like to give you a piece of my mind, but this is my last piece.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 02:11 by SS Dude Comments (1)  

   messageicon A lot of people seem to forget their other four fingers when waving to me.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 02:10 by SS Dude Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's not that I'm immature, it's just that you started it.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 02:09 by SS Dude Comments (0)  

   messageicon had to fill out a doctor paper once it said "sex M/F" I didnt know what M or F was so I put"no thanx"
←Rate | 08-08-2010 02:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon love me or hate me either way your still.thinking about me
←Rate | 08-08-2010 01:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't really like animals. When I watch Whale Wars I root for the Japanese.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 00:42 by status thief Comments (1)  

   messageicon out clubbing this weekend. I'm going to beat my record of 12 baby seals.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 00:03 by @HumbleFighter Comments (0)  

   messageicon This just in, Paul the octopus is dead. Paul was "asked" if Farve was going to stay retired. Witnesses report that Paul changed color's rapidly, vibrated slightly and then exploded.
←Rate | 08-07-2010 23:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon may not make the history books, but she loves another with all her heart and soul, and that's all that really matters ♥
←Rate | 08-07-2010 23:14 by ashley spicknell Comments (0)  

   messageicon singing a duet with the fat lady singing "myspace"
←Rate | 08-07-2010 22:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon the life of the party, even if I dont attend
←Rate | 08-07-2010 20:14 by James Sara Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...Kim Kardash begs fan NOT 2 get surgery 2 look like her. Kim's right. Someone in porn shoulda begged Heidi Montag not 2 look like one of THEM!
←Rate | 08-07-2010 19:31 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  

   messageicon If flatulence is a normal part of pregancy, why did they toss me out of my wife's lamaze class after I farted?
←Rate | 08-07-2010 18:10 by Bill Legarzia Comments (0)  

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