Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon When I die, someone please change my status to: "He's DEAD, Jim"
←Rate | 02-17-2011 10:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ahh, the gift card. The polite way to say here's $20, go get your own damn gift.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 10:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was little, I thought my name was shuddup.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 10:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon First God created men....then he had a better idea!!
←Rate | 02-17-2011 10:16 by Nem Comments (0)  


   messageicon My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 10:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just took a Justin and wiped my Bieber...........
←Rate | 02-17-2011 10:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the 'Dog Whisperer' were to be found out to be an illegal, and the boys from 'Cops' were after him, and he ran and hid in the woods, then the K-9 unit let the dogs loose ......now THAT'S a TV show I'd actually watch through the commercial breaks.....
←Rate | 02-17-2011 09:57 by Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid, I never wore my helmet on the special bus, because it impeded my window licking abilities.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 09:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 09:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just learned that tigers don't eat Frosted Flakes. Now I'm questioning whether they're even gr-r-reat. I don't know what to believe anymore.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 09:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon n't it amazing how the sound of one persons voice can ruin your whole day at work.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 09:05 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've had enough with seeing animals today. I hate this place! It smells real bad, and there's too much sh!t everywhere. Damn you walmart
←Rate | 02-17-2011 09:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The new facebook photo viewer is so Biebish!
←Rate | 02-17-2011 08:16 by HM Comments (0)  


   messageicon NEWS: Lady Gaga to do naked skydive for charity. You've got to admire her balls.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 06:11 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women drivers! I was behind one on my way home from work and she indicated to turn left and what does she go and do? She actually turns left! How am I supposed to prepare myself with these f-kin mind games?!
←Rate | 02-17-2011 06:08 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon used to be a deep-sea diver but I quit because I couldn't stand the pressure
←Rate | 02-17-2011 05:47 by zool Comments (0)  


   messageicon Censorship makes me sooo (bleeping) angry
←Rate | 02-17-2011 05:40 by snagglepuss Comments (0)  


   messageicon went to pizza hut and there was sign outside .It said "look out for the new Menu"... I walked in and it and it hit me in the back of the head
←Rate | 02-17-2011 05:32 by congo jack Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice!
←Rate | 02-17-2011 05:25 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎1. Go to Google maps. 2. Go to 35 Sampsonia Way, Pittsburgh Pennsylvania. 3. Click street view. 4. Turn the view around. 5. ??? 6. lol
←Rate | 02-17-2011 02:49 by ptv Comments (2)  



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