Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5095 of 5593

   messageicon I used to think that Bert & Ernie were gay men living together. Then I came to my senses and realized that no true gay man would have exceptionally bad hair, a hidious unibrow and wear those terrible clothes. Rock on B & E!
←Rate | 03-09-2011 08:12 by acreak Comments (0)  


   messageicon Glad I noticed it's Ash Wednesday so I don't tell someone they have dirt on their forehead...
←Rate | 03-09-2011 07:35 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you teabag someone that is allergic to nuts, is that considered attempted murder?
←Rate | 03-09-2011 07:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and lets play that game!
←Rate | 03-09-2011 06:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't feel sad...don't feel blue...Frankenstein was ugly too...
←Rate | 03-09-2011 06:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesterday I told my girlfriend to come over because no one is home. I don't know why she was so mad when she arrived to my empty house. I said "no one".
←Rate | 03-09-2011 06:54 by Dopey420 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Let your smile change the world, but dont let the world change your smile
←Rate | 03-09-2011 06:45 by Sorrel Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry about biting off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger than you think. ツ
←Rate | 03-09-2011 06:44 by Sorrel Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends are like condoms: They protect you when things get hard.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 06:43 by Sorrel Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two women are sitting in church. One leans over and whispers to the other, "My butt is going to sleep". The other replies, "I know, I've heard it snore three times"
←Rate | 03-09-2011 06:43 by Rudi Comments (1)  


   messageicon I am so clever sometimes I don't even understand what I'm saying.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 06:36 by Brafty Crastard Comments (0)  


   messageicon This world would be slot nicer if your parents didn't have kids
←Rate | 03-09-2011 06:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife has got a Licence To Kill. Or Driving Licence as she likes to calls it.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 06:02 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cotton is getting expensive huh... If only there was a way to get people to pick cotton for free...hm
←Rate | 03-09-2011 04:08 by Herbncheese/oscar Comments (0)  


   messageicon Called in my Napalm Strike and fried a whole bunch of Burritos.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 03:42 by TB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 03:15 by @DonSixx Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep calm and mentally undress your celebrity crush
←Rate | 03-09-2011 03:14 by @DonSixx Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when your parents are looking over your shoulder at your Facebook page, and you dont know what to do..
←Rate | 03-09-2011 03:09 by @DonSixx Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Superman, I understand... I have a weakness for a certain type of rock too. Sincerely, Lindsay Lohan..
←Rate | 03-09-2011 03:08 by @DonSixx Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I sing I think I sound like an angel.. (; When really, I sound like a dying walrus!
←Rate | 03-09-2011 03:04 by @DonSixx Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left