Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5095 of 5215

   messageicon just two away from a threesome
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:46 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Computer games don't effect kids, I mean if Pac-Man affected kids, we'll all be around darkened rooms munching magic pills, listening to repetitive electronic music.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:45 by savio Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...it's not you, it's me. I don't like you
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:45 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks if you have a chip on your shoulder, you're missing your mouth.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:43 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon fed up with all the emails I keep getting on how to enlarge my penis, particularly since I'm a woman...so I've forwarded them to my ex.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:43 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon feeling politely confrontational this evening. Would anyone care for a piece of me?
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:42 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon not remotely sober. Nor am I sober up close.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:42 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon has often thought that what doesn't kill us makes us drink stronger liquor
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:41 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon always wanted to be somebody. Now she realises that she should have been more specific.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:41 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:40 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:40 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks there should be a Facebook button that says "I liked your status until every man and his dog decided to comment on it".
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:39 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:38 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are 3 kinds of people in the world. One is the solution to the problem, one is the problem, while the other is wondering what was the problem???
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:32 by Corey C Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that iPad is an iPod for fat people.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon realized that a dog is truly a mans best friend. Locked the dog and the wife in the car boot for 1hour. Guess who was happy to see me and who wasn't??
←Rate | 07-22-2010 23:31 by samdave69 Comments (2)  


   messageicon People who say I am hard to shop for evidently don't know where to buy beer.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:49 by JW Comments (0)  


   messageicon made two batches of brownies at a friend's house, one plain and one special. accidentally brought the wrong batch home to my very mormon mother. she's laughing her ass off at george carlin right now
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it's called alcohol.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:18 by status stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1 in 5 people are Chinese. I wonder if my mom and dad know which one of my brothers it is?
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:17 by status stalker Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left