Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon What would happen if Superman consumed 10 Lbs of laxative?
←Rate | 07-14-2010 18:23 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon What you call sex ed, I call Saturday night...
←Rate | 07-14-2010 18:12 by geez Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really wish I had a pet chimp..that would really be cool. We could dress alike and go places together. We would be best friends..
←Rate | 07-14-2010 18:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to go camping at North Korea State Beach and play a great camping game of Hide-and-keep-hiding!
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Filing a BP Damage Claims. Due to the Gulf disaster, instead of a vacation at the beach, we're going to visit my in-laws...
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why hasn't anyone invented alcohol that acts as birth control too?
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that when you get your girlfriend pregnant, everyone rubs her belly saying "congratulations"... but nobody rubs your d*ck and says "good job?"
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:17 by Joser Comments (2)  


   messageicon I wish God wouldn't have hidden all of my talents so well...
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:16 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Didn't lock my car last night and there was a homeless guy asleep in it this morning.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Will too much skin lightening cream turn you invisible?
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good thing about being 6' 1" is that no one will see my bald patch... Unless you're using Google Earth...
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My job on Fridays: Working just hard enough that the screen-saver doesn't come on.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that the people who tell you to relax are almost always the source of your anxiety?
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is becoming the grown-up version of the "Do you like me? Yes. No. Circle one" letter we passed around in grade school.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish God wouldn't have hidden all of my talents so well...
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had two beers after work with friends, and when I say two I mean pitchers and when I say friends I mean a$$holes I work with.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You shouldn't compare yourself to others they are more screwed up than you think."
←Rate | 07-14-2010 16:28 Comments (0)  



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