Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Do you know the four signs of growing old? 1. Forgetting names, 2. Forgetting faces, 3. Forgetting to zip up, 4. Forgetting to zip down.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 22:43 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love to go shopping and freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, “Have you got anything I'd like?” Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, “Extra medium.”
←Rate | 07-14-2010 22:34 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have all the money I'll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 22:29 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon until money changes color, my favorite color is green.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Google is really an undercover gambling addiction hence clicking "I'm Feeling Lucky" compulsively.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:39 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon When filling out Hello My Name Is name tags, I always put a question mark after my name
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:39 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't tell lies, just fiction short stories
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:38 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Attn BP: When this is all over, will the Gulf of Mexico be regular, midgrade or premium?
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:38 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Procrastination is like masturbation; it's a whole lotta fun until you realize you just screwed yourself.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:36 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you ever been so hungry you accidentally called someone sandwich?
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:33 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ladies, I'd like to remind you that trying to play "hard to get" doesn't work when you're already "hard to want".
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:32 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon rapping with Dr. Seuss. That dude has mad skills.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon could never understand why the ghosts on the TV show "Ghost Whisperer" didn't take advantage of the fact they could sneak around and see Jennifer Love Hewitt naked.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 20:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There is actually a "man vs wild alabama". Bear said "this is going to be one of my toughest challenges ever". He's obvously seen "deliverance".
←Rate | 07-14-2010 20:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon theres nothin worse then havin a wicked case of the squirts and realizing there isnt a roll of TP in sight..
←Rate | 07-14-2010 19:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Non alcoholic beer is like porn movie on a radio
←Rate | 07-14-2010 19:19 by GoraN Comments (0)  

   messageicon voices inside of his head, but they're speaking in spanish and he can't understand them
←Rate | 07-14-2010 19:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just realised Chewbacca carries a Purse!"
←Rate | 07-14-2010 19:09 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have a cold. it makes my voice sound like a sexy pirate."
←Rate | 07-14-2010 19:07 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  

   messageicon cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time
←Rate | 07-14-2010 18:58 Comments (0)  

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