Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Just gave a squirrel some of his nuts
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish that some people wouldn't talk to me in the morning until I've had my coffee. (I don't drink coffee).
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please read! URGENT! FACEBOOK VIRUS ALERT. An email recently went out to women asking them to post the color of their bra. THIS IS A VIRUS. To fix it, you must remove your bra, then go to Settings>Enable Webcam> Record Movie> Send to me ;) lol
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:19 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon (Glass breaks) Woman: I think someones breaking in! Man: I'll take care of this! (grabs a toilet brush) Woman: A toilet brush? What are you going to do scrub him to death? Man: Would you want to be touched with this?
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if butterflies get humans in their stomach when they're anxious?
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:03 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you lick frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:03 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kinda feels weird when your computer asks if you'd like to continue unprotected....
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:02 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are places in the heart you can only find when the right person comes along.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't make the same typo I did in a text to my girlfriend: "Having a great time wish you were her."
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:01 by hovo Comments (1)  


   messageicon Facebook needs to add a maybe button for friend requests, some people deserve to wait for a decision to be made.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:00 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really want to punch "The Situation" in his vagina
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:00 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, "In Jesus name, amen,"
←Rate | 02-17-2011 20:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear yellow traffic light, Challenge accepted. Sincerely, a driver running late.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 20:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The part of "no" that I don't understand is the part where I don't get what I want.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 20:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies?
←Rate | 02-17-2011 20:43 by SeanyB Comments (0)  


   messageicon just stubbed my toe so hard that I called my ex gf that I haven't spoken to in 3 years and broke up with her again.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 20:37 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember: warning labels exist because someone failed at using the product correctly. scary when you think about windshield sun covers and the warning "do not drive while intact"
←Rate | 02-17-2011 20:37 by ptv Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mosquito: an insect that makes you like flies better.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 20:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who pimp out pick up trucks , is like dressing your little boy up in girls clothes.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 20:17 Comments (0)  



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