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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I run for 2 reasons: 1.) Running to get food (2.) Running to keep from being food
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02-23-2011 08:37
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I let my fists do the talking. And by fists I mean mouth. And by talking I mean sandwich eating.
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02-23-2011 08:08 by
MyClueIs
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Justin Bieber's hair being auctioned off for charity. Should I buy it for my next toupee?
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02-23-2011 07:50 by
Yourmomma
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Buying a used mattress is like buying used underwear...You just dont do it!!
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02-23-2011 07:19
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I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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02-23-2011 06:51
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CNN refuses to broadcast Gathafi's speech; reason being it is copyrighted to the Comedy Channel....
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02-23-2011 05:53 by
Ziad
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I have tried it all to get my girl to call out my name in bed, but nothing has worked.My last hope now is to change my name to "Already?".
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02-23-2011 03:16
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mmm nothings more manly then watching a man hold shake-weights next to his face while grunting with exaggeritated force
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02-23-2011 03:06
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Are you always this stupid, OR ARE YOU MAKING A SPECIAL EFFORT TODAY?
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02-23-2011 02:04 by
ROB
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You can walk out that door and keep on walking... Because you never shut up and you're always talking.
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02-23-2011 01:49 by
ROB
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There are somethings some parents will never understand..like how to actually be parents...
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02-23-2011 01:41
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Judge me all you want..But don't think I'll give a damn.
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02-23-2011 01:37 by
ROB
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"Look at the keyboard ... you and I are together, look underneath it says JK."
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02-23-2011 01:34 by
ROB
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a bed Little Bo Pep was giving him head as soon as he came she started to weap she knew by the taste he was f**king her sheep
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02-23-2011 01:31 by
ROB
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It's not that I hate you it's just...ok, put it this way. if you were on fire and I had water. I would drink the water.
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02-23-2011 01:30 by
ROB
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SuperGlue and NonStick Pan.... One of you is lying...
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02-23-2011 01:29
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See this Ipod ? Hear the music ? It's the only thing that's keeping me from killing you right now .
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02-23-2011 01:29 by
ROB
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The fact that you continue to speak ,although I informed you I'm not listening, puzzles me.
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02-23-2011 01:27 by
ROB
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You know how when you're kissing someone and you want to take them into the bedroom to have sex with them? Yea, well I don't want to do that with you.
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02-23-2011 01:22 by
rob
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Fat women want to be thinner. Thin women want bigger boobs. Big-boobed women want clothes to fit better. And you know what men want? Women.
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02-22-2011 23:38 by
Marshall the Great
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