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   messageicon Now would be a good time for Walmart to do an alignment on all those crooked shopping cart wheels
←Rate | 04-16-2020 08:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everything I need to know in life I learned in First Grade... if you poop your pants they let you go home.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 13:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Unsolved mysteries is my wife and I trying to figure out how we no longer have enough hangers for the clothes we washed that were on hangers before we wore them.
←Rate | 07-31-2020 08:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Neighbor’s rooster hacks & crows like he’s been a lifelong smoker
←Rate | 08-10-2020 08:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Chewing sugarless gum instead of brushing your teeth is the dry shampoo of dental care
←Rate | 09-14-2020 12:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m much smarter than my dating history would lead you to believe.
←Rate | 09-16-2020 08:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I want to be that grandpa someday that everyone is afraid to take out in public.
←Rate | 09-22-2020 08:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you think it’s impossible to be late for work when you work from home, we probably can’t be friends.
←Rate | 10-02-2020 08:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm beginning to believe whoever said "Hindsight is 2020" was sending a message to the future we all misunderstood.
←Rate | 10-23-2020 21:32 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Distancing from people & not going out. Drinking too much coffee in the morning. Eating and smoking too much all day. Watching too much tv. Drinking too much at night. Then the pandemic struck.
←Rate | 04-12-2020 15:33 by RoboGoon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some of you never rooted for Godzilla and it shows.
←Rate | 09-14-2020 15:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pro tip: Fill the piñata with ketchup and you never have to host a children’s birthday party again. You’re welcome
←Rate | 10-06-2020 08:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I tossed and turned so much last night that I woke up with an ab.
←Rate | 02-19-2020 09:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you are driving alone in your car with a face mask on... Stay home... Even after this is over...
←Rate | 04-20-2020 12:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who cares about Elmer Fudd's rifle. I'm way more concerned about them taking Marvin the Martian's Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.🗼
←Rate | 06-14-2020 09:50 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why would I pay for a haunted house when I can wake up to a 7 yr old silently standing in the bed over me at 5AM
←Rate | 10-19-2017 23:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Too many of environmentally friendly philosophers in the world and not enough people willing to bend over to pick up a piece of garbage.
←Rate | 02-22-2019 21:43 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a kid says " Daddy, I want mommy", that's the kid version of "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
←Rate | 07-12-2020 09:10 by Gabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remembers when the only fake news was the National Inquirer
←Rate | 07-22-2020 19:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Due to all that's happened so far this year, I have no choice but to deduct 2 stars from my original TripAdvisor review of Earth.
←Rate | 08-13-2020 09:53 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

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