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Just so you know, only looking out for yourself and abandoning everyone else isn't very Christian like. You know that's true. 
"I am the way, the truth and the lasagna." - Cheeses of Nazareth
My TV got hacked at Superbowl halftime. I saw a Puerto Rican Strip Club on Spanish language channel, old crotch grabbin' hussies.
It started with a Bat. Then toilet paper. Now we are going nuts in quarantine. We really have gone Bat $#!t Crazy!
If you don't see Snowden as a hero please unfriend me,. Save me the trouble of finding out later that your just effin sheep of the media.
I've been thinking about this all morning. "Sir, why did you shoot me?" "I don't know." This is insanity. #CharlesKinsey
I have paid Tim Kaine to jack off my dog for entertainment purposes as recent as March of 2016
When asked why he was wearing a tuxedo to his vasectomy. Tyrone said, well if I'm gona be impotent, I might as well look impotent.
I still not comfortable with how we spell coffee.
The gender reveal device that started those fires in California must've said the kid was gonna be a flamer.
Ah doan care what any of y'all say, ain't no man likes a tattoo on da tiddy.
CNN, CBS, ABC, NBC News and Facebook did to our parents what they said video games would do to us.
I don’t go to Starbucks very often. It’s intimidating. I never know how to order. Last time I ended up with a cup of hot dog water.
even my six year old knows you would have to be an immature loser to tweet a complete falsehood about a foe and wait ten days to admit you didn't actually mean what you wrote.
After the President asked for an intelligence audit, the FBI review showed that no signs of intelligence could be found at the White House.
I'm not a professional pilot, but I can wear a pair of aviator glasses and helicopter my wiener in the front yard for like 3 hours straight! :-D
Global Warming would not be a problem if people would stop producing so much hot air complaining about Global Warming.
I don't what the big deal is with Michael Sam. NASCAR has had Jeff Gordon for years! Bahahahaha!
i will destroy you in the most beautiful way
I don't care for how many years human beings have been following a certain routine, custom or culture, if it doesn't make sense to me imma still gonna question it. 