Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF

Search Messages:
Page: 4 of 5405

   messageicon "Aw poor turtle is upset because things aren't going his way." :-)
←Rate | 01-22-2020 14:52 by IDTN Comments (0)  

   messageicon You mean lies like "I never met Stormy Daniel's in my life"?
←Rate | 01-22-2020 14:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's sad to watch folks who have been lied to by the Dems, CNN and the MSM for so long that they don't know the truth when they finally see it face to face.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 14:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trying to impeach a man whom wants to put God back in school will send you all straight to Hell.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 13:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Last night I saw a gigantic spider in our bedroom so I did what any man would do... I got into an argument with my wife so I could sleep on the couch.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 12:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I sent wait for the devil to take the souls of the ones who believes in taking an oath to God, but applauding when the GOP blatantly lies in order to protect someone.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 12:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Imagine if Ted Bundy was treated with such leniency at his trial....
←Rate | 01-22-2020 12:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon it rude to start asking my mother-in-law for daily child care fees? Her child is a handful and I don't work for free.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 11:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 10:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why does Garfield hate Mondays? He doesn't have a job.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 10:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A wise man once told me, "Sir for just 50 cents more, you can add cheese to that"
←Rate | 01-22-2020 10:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Schiff is like a boil on the ass of democracy.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 09:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A second-hand deep fryer is an acceptable gift for third weddings right?
←Rate | 01-22-2020 08:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Any man that believes women are "the weaker sex," has never tried to reclaim his half of the blankets on a cold winter's night...
←Rate | 01-22-2020 08:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. Once it’s on you, it’s there forever.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 08:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you really think about it, "F**k You" is a compliment.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 07:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Experts at this week's world economic forum that said in the future, cell phones will likely be tiny computer chips implanted in our brains. Great, now I have to worry about leaving my brain in the couch.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 07:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Doctors say that your attention span is like a muscle that can be strengthened. I didn't read the rest of the article because I saw a shiny thing.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 07:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon At the zoo or on an African safari, they always pick the First Round Giraffe Choice.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 06:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Scrabble would be more fun if it were full contact, like hockey. But then someone might lose an "I".
←Rate | 01-22-2020 06:39 Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left