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   messageicon It's just a mater of time before bathrooms will eventually be called Selfie Rooms
←Rate | 01-08-2018 06:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today I saw a homeless man holding a sign that said "why live in a 100k home when I can live under a 3 million dollar bridge?" Now thats what I call being BOLD
←Rate | 01-16-2018 02:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Between the Super Bowl commercials and today’s teen challenges...Tide is killing it!
←Rate | 02-04-2018 23:08 by tmk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
←Rate | 02-13-2018 06:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.
←Rate | 02-21-2018 01:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 45 minutes on the treadmill is no big deal if you don't turn it on
←Rate | 02-26-2018 14:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dating is cuddling on the sofa. Marriage is sleeping on the sofa.
←Rate | 02-27-2018 03:09 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd like to read an obituary that says "He laid down the boogie and played that funky music till he died."
←Rate | 03-08-2018 09:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon when you drop your iphone, remember that's gravity that makes the apple fall
←Rate | 07-30-2017 22:52 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
←Rate | 09-12-2017 09:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just had ice cream without sprinkles on top. Diets are so hard.
←Rate | 01-02-2018 16:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The far right and the far left are both extremes and should be condemned equally.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 05:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope when I die, it's early in the morning so I don't go to work that day for no reason.
←Rate | 04-24-2017 16:41 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Watching Friday the 13th. A load of awful make-up on brain-dead zombies. Oh wait. Sorry, wrong channel. This is "The View".
←Rate | 01-13-2018 11:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Golf is finally starting to pay off. I just signed a contract with Nike for a large sum of money in return for agreeing never to be seen playing with any of their equipment.
←Rate | 12-04-2017 12:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gun sales hit #1 record for a Black Friday sales item.
←Rate | 11-27-2017 04:50 Comments (3)  

   messageicon Gotta listen to the little man inside. The little man knows all. Unless, your little man is an idiot.
←Rate | 12-01-2017 19:03 Comments (1)  

   messageicon A friend of mine asked what it's like to raise a small toddler so I coughed directly in his mouth
←Rate | 12-13-2017 09:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You question whether you are getting old when your barber asks if your eyebrows need trimming, and you know it when he does it without asking
←Rate | 12-16-2017 08:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some of the best decisions I've ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send
←Rate | 01-26-2018 05:06 Comments (0)  

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