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being single does not always mean you're available 
War with North Korea looming. Cast of M*A*S*H have their fingers crossed
Girls that call guys "dude" are usually lesbians.
wondering why everyone is so excited about landing a rover on Mars. Did everyone forget that we've been landing junk there (including 2 other rovers) since 1976.
I'm worried about my friend, he can't stop buying cars... I think he has car owner virus.
The definition of a Canadian - An unarmed American with Health Insurance!
I went door-to-door today telling my neighbors I’m a registered sex offender so they’ll keep their darn kids out of my yard.
Black Lies Scatter!
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
Kinda odd that Bill Clinton screwed everything but wont do Hillary.
Sister ask her brother: Am I pretty or ugly? Brother: Your both. Sister: What do you mean? Brother: Your pretty ugly.
The best thing about my wife's bj..... The five minutes of silence
I would send thoughts and prayers, but I would rather vote and send better politicians...
Woman are the only creatures to defly the laws of gravity. The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.
Harry and Meghan have started an online poll to allow the British public to suggest the name of the new royal infant. The current front-runner is Princey McPrinceFace.
My daughter was eating a snack cake while her mother gave her a haircut. I said, "You're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She said, "I know, daddy. And I'm gonna get b00bies too!"
I like my Covid viruses like I like my women...19 and spreads easily.
China 🇨🇳 Just Released The Name Of The Person Who Had The First Coronavirus.. Ah Chu
OK, OK. I'm sorry I yelled "Get a room!" when your grandmother was hugging your grandfather's casket.
Are you crying because you are fat or because you're hungry again? 