Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 3660 of 5594

   messageicon thinking so what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.
←Rate | 03-05-2008 09:30 Comments (9)  


   messageicon I slipped and fell on some black ice this morning.. at least I think it was black ice cause my wallet is missing.
←Rate | 02-18-2014 07:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm gonna buy a pizza 5 minutes before the new year and when they arrive I'll say "I ordered this damn thing a year ago!"
←Rate | 12-25-2012 17:16 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you aren't liberal as a youth, you don't have a heart. If you aren't conservative as an adult, you don't have a brain…
←Rate | 08-29-2012 22:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lady Gaga says she takes her fashion inspiration from Princess Diana. It's just a shame it's not from how she looked before the crash.
←Rate | 03-28-2011 03:30 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 18:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon inspired by true events.
←Rate | 12-23-2008 22:47 by Louis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Skipping the new "Jackass" movie... already saw Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar on "The View" this week.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 00:40 by Billy Comments (0)  


   messageicon sweating like a cat at a Chinese restaurant.
←Rate | 02-28-2010 06:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between Humans and Chimpanzees is about 600 genes. The difference between mormon and moron is one letter.
←Rate | 01-24-2012 16:59 by SOPA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Son: "Dad, I had sex for the first time tonight!" Dad: "Congrats son, have a beer! Have any questions?" Yes dad I do...."how long will my ass hurt?"
←Rate | 04-19-2012 22:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Republican National Committee is considering selling the TV rights to its presidential primary debates. To which Fox News is saying they already own it since all the candidates are working for them.
←Rate | 03-19-2011 19:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some girl in China lost her virginity at 12, her name was 'SUM YUNG HO'
←Rate | 07-06-2011 16:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Father's Day....the most confusing day in the ghetto.
←Rate | 06-22-2015 14:14 by CWW Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bobbi Kristina, I'm sure you are at peace. Maybe now the rest of us can get some peace from that drama-filled family of yours.
←Rate | 07-27-2015 00:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 27 Championships. Too bad the Yankees can't also buy the respect of players, owners, and fans of MLB.
←Rate | 11-05-2009 09:03 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You're the wind beneath my wings.
←Rate | 05-10-2010 17:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"
←Rate | 10-18-2009 15:12 by harry hocking Comments (0)  


   messageicon A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never let her down. He will comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will enable her to be confident,
←Rate | 08-08-2011 19:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon we can all talk smack about miley, but we all know if given the option and if no one would find out, we would hit that pancake A ss
←Rate | 08-26-2013 12:16 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left