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On Gilligan's Island, how did Ginger have so many different outfits when they were only going on a 3 hour tour? 
If you are innocent until proven guilty, they why are you arrested and sent to jail before your trial?
They should really outlaw cursive handwriting nowadays. Especially for the ones who can't spell.
Dont kill yourself to LIVE!!!
a woman of many moods...and they all require chocolate
Welcome to psychoville...!!!!!!!!!!!
Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!
Pedro, just listen to your heart. That's what I do." -Napoleon Dynamite
Sometimes, it's not so easy being Fearless Leader.
could easily become the "Crazy Cat Lady" for Halloween. I could wear my everyday clothes and pin all the neighborhood strays to them......
stupid campaign commercials. Because of them, Everytime before I "Like" someone else's status I say to myself. My name is 'X' and I approve this message
BBC Sport: "Liverpool want Fanni" - Don't we all.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
An optamist can easily be let down, but a pessamist will never be dissapointed.
got food poisoning yesterday. Just not sure who to use it on yet.
I haven't cooked for myself in a while, and that was a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich!
Some women should just come with talk plans like my cell phone, because after to much conversation my MIND starts roaming!
An angry mob of nerds can be dangerous. The only thing stopping them from tipping cars is physical ability.
I hope aliens don't land in the next few years, because this is a really embarrassing time for humanity!
I feel like everyone at this farmers market not eating a McGriddle thinks they are better than me. 