Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I ordered myself an Eastern European bride online. SO EXCITED. Just received confirmation... My Czech is in the mail
←Rate | 11-16-2017 02:51 by Fr8Train Comments (0)  

   messageicon After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes...... "No hablo ingles."
←Rate | 11-16-2017 02:50 by Fr8Train Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can't help to think that if Roy Moore was black, he'd be hanging from a tree in Alabama, rather than getting praises and support for sexual harassing women. Only in the south, am I right?
←Rate | 11-16-2017 00:33 Comments (7)  

   messageicon My Dominatrix is so cruel and kinky, she makes me drink orange juice right after I brush my teeth.
←Rate | 11-16-2017 00:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't recall what I can't recall because I can't recall it. Jeff Session
←Rate | 11-15-2017 18:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My sex tape is 60 mins long, 58 minutes of it are arguing
←Rate | 11-15-2017 14:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wife: I'm having a baby. me: *handing menu back to waiter* I'll have a baby as well.
←Rate | 11-15-2017 13:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If it wasn't for online porn I couldn't spell amateur.
←Rate | 11-15-2017 13:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only person I wanna chat with is my dog.
←Rate | 11-15-2017 13:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon -inventing vodka- who’s thirsty for yeast infected potato juice?
←Rate | 11-15-2017 13:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Superman wears glasses, everyone thinks he’s a different person. I wear glasses people say: “Hey, why are you wearing glasses?”
←Rate | 11-15-2017 05:06 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Irony: People waving Confederate flags telling others, "get over it, you lost".
←Rate | 11-14-2017 23:59 Comments (16)  

   messageicon those people in the office with the rolling cart full of everyone's mail....they really push the envelope
←Rate | 11-14-2017 20:54 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gross thought of the day... Vienna sausage juice.
←Rate | 11-14-2017 20:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Q. What does a day old donut have in common with Betty White? A. They're both pretty dry when you eat them.
←Rate | 11-14-2017 19:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'll bet that hookers calculate their profits and losses by using a spread sheet.
←Rate | 11-14-2017 16:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb they dont know they are still in the dark.
←Rate | 11-14-2017 16:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What happens when you cross a Democrat with a pig ..come on now some things even a pig wont do ..
←Rate | 11-14-2017 16:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Name something to be thankful for this Thankgiving mine is that Hillary is not my POTUS
←Rate | 11-14-2017 15:57 Comments (2)  

   messageicon Kaepernick looks like a throw back 60 panther model on the GQ magazine
←Rate | 11-14-2017 14:15 Comments (1)  

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