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I just bought a new Jeep. I named it Elizabeth Warren because it's all white yet says it's a Cherokee. 
Why the bullying orange President has no bullish words for Saudia Arabia?
70% of Georgia 53,000 block voters are people of color. what a surprise.
Bet if the block voters wore MAGA hats, they would not of had a problem registering to vote.
The guy in charge of running the election (kemp) in Georgia is also running in the Georgia election. Mmmm I wonder who will win ?
Come on people, does your vote really count? Or is it just a big con?
I’m going as Alexa for Halloween this year and answering every question with, “Sorry, I’m having trouble understanding you right now.”
You may be a conservative if you ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch, lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society.
I like when people call me "Sir." I just wish they wouldn't follow it up with "You're making a scene."
I often get a "yes" from women, but it's usually followed by,
"that's him officer"
Rihanna turned down an opportunity to headline the halftime show at #SuperBowlLIII how ever they can still broadcast it on her forehead
If you feel "blessed" because you have a lot of stuff, you obviously don't understand the meaning of "blessed."
well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions
If you sit on the toilet at 1159pm and the clock strikes midnight, it is the same crap different day.
You've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.
Note to our friends from the south ,The Canadian Word EH! has been replaced with WAH ? Stay stoned my friends .
Whenever someone says, "I think of you as family," I always assume they're gonna start screaming at me for something that happened 20-30 years ago...
Having a child is like having a little broke ass best friend!
Whenever I ride on an enclosed water slide I can't help but wonder if this is what it would feel like to be flushed down the toilet
If your religion makes you hate someone, you need a new religion.