Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 3 of 5576
My emotional support dog after spending a day with me. Dog: Drinks a 5th of vodka and chain-smokes non-filter cigarettes.
312
5
←Rate |
01-08-2023 17:23
Comments (
0
)
Twitter files released. MSM: “What files? ~ Space Man Bad”
311
5
←Rate |
01-08-2023 16:19
Comments (
0
)
Yeah, you’re made of star stuff, but so is garbage, so calm down.
187
3
←Rate |
06-07-2022 02:05
Comments (
0
)
Wonder if the skulls of your enemies are dishwasher safe. Asking for a friend.
187
3
←Rate |
07-01-2022 01:49
Comments (
0
)
My favorite part of winter is when it’s over.
432
7
←Rate |
01-06-2023 01:02
Comments (
0
)
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a twenty-minute jog. Now I’m sitting at the park, laughing at all the joggers.
310
5
←Rate |
01-08-2023 01:43
Comments (
0
)
Has decided to be fully delusional this year and see where that takes me. Because, being sensible hasn’t gleaned the results I’m looking for.
310
5
←Rate |
01-18-2023 01:03
Comments (
0
)
Got a new book: “How to pretend to be normal.”
309
5
←Rate |
01-08-2023 17:24
Comments (
0
)
At the store: “OMG haven’t seen you in forever! Let’s stand in everyone’s way!”
186
3
←Rate |
07-01-2022 01:46
Comments (
0
)
Why are you listening to broken headphones? So, people don’t talk to me.
124
2
←Rate |
04-20-2022 12:30
Comments (
0
)
If they say it’s impossible, it’s impossible for them, not for you.
124
2
←Rate |
04-22-2022 23:20
Comments (
0
)
Old computer games couldn’t be won, they just got harder and faster until you died. Just like in real life.
368
6
←Rate |
01-06-2023 18:40
Comments (
0
)
Don’t blame the holidays, you were fat in August.
307
5
←Rate |
01-12-2023 01:01
Comments (
0
)
Lucky for you, mirrors can't laugh out loud.
307
5
←Rate |
01-12-2023 01:34
Comments (
0
)
Start each day with a positive thought like; “in 16 hours, I can go back to bed.”
307
5
←Rate |
01-18-2023 01:15
Comments (
0
)
I’m all out of snacks. What else do people do for fun? 🤔
246
4
←Rate |
01-23-2023 02:40
Comments (
0
)
2020 We aren’t allowed to go in public. 2022 We can’t afford to go in public.
185
3
←Rate |
06-19-2022 02:36
Comments (
0
)
Her: Undress me with your words. Him: There’s a spider in your bra.
184
3
←Rate |
06-08-2022 01:38
Comments (
0
)
If you had a scratch and sniff map of the world, what would your current location smell like?
366
6
←Rate |
01-06-2023 01:31
Comments (
0
)
An elderly woman was walking her dog when a young man grabbed her purse and ran away. I asked if she was okay. She said, “it’s no big deal really, I only carry that old purse to put my dog’s poop in it.”
306
5
←Rate |
01-12-2023 01:05
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com