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It's for you Mr. Reid. It's Al Sharpton and he sounds pissed. You better take the call because he likes to march about as much as the Germans 
George Washington's brother, Larry, was the Uncle of Our Country."
When your cat suddenly runs out of the room at the speed of lightning, it was actually a failed ambush.
Some people have all the luck. They're called "cheaters."
Happy Halloweenkend!!
Does anyone else find it ironic that election day is on Dia de los Muertos? What a conundrum.
enough about what's on my mind, what's on yours?
An awkward morning beats a boring night.
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon...everything's different.
Hallmark Card: "I've always wanted someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
I started playing the new Facebook game, Oilville, but now I can't make it stop.
Every Morning I wake up and think, "Don't let it slip about Darth Vader being Luke's Dad." It's hard having a 5 year old who doesn't KNOW.
not a Russian spy; regardless of what the news says!
If you've seen one child on a leash, you've seen a mall
We have so much in common. You want to travel . . . I want you to go . . .
...is about as useful today as an appendix transplant...
How come Batman doesn't sleep upside down?
When somebody says "I'm really bad with directions," that translates to me as "I'm too stupid to read road signs." 