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OK, Super Moon has arrived. Not quite what I expected ., it was kinda super. Not Super Duper but yeah. 
If a man tells you he deleted those pictures off is phone....he didn"t delete them.
My girlfriend told me how shaving her before sex could be quite a turn on and give for a much smoother experience. She was wrong though, I found her bald head more of a turn off.
Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.
I am a wizard with the ladies. Okay, well, I can make them disappear.
How do you walk like an Egyptian in 2011? You don't. Running across streets, flipping cars, and setting fires are the prerequistes
I'm was wondering, just what funky music WAS that white boy playing anyway?
If you went to High School with your girlfriend's grandfather, you might be a Hugh Heffner.
My hangover feels like someone is screaming at me in German.
I wish instead of the stock market you could buy stock in famous people. This country is already obsessed with celebrities, we might as well have somethin to lose. Instead of hedge funds, you could buy families. I would totally buy Will Smith's family!
I don't know about flavored vodkas, but I'm pretty sure tequila only comes in one flavor; “Bad Decisions”.
If you are in a relationship, and you are not enjoying all the great things and benefits that come with a relationship, double check the meaning of a RELATIONSHIP.
Something about the person(s) telling me to quit complaining about making some guy I've never met rich from my "free" social activities, makes me want to sock someone in the neck.
Rolling a piece of toilet paper up and sticking it in your ear and just letting it hang there makes it awkward for people to talk to you.
Bluntception: A blunt inside of a blunt, takes 5minutes to roll & over an hour to smoke.
It's okay ladies, I understand. If I did twice the work and got half the credit I'd go crazy too.
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
I bet your car doesn't make as many cool noises as mine!!
Are we living blind or blindly living??
wondering how the first prostate exam went..."hold on, you want to stick your finger where?!" 