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Kinda sad that future generations wont get the joy of watching scrabbled porn..."Is that a boobie or an elbow??...Hmm I dont know but it's gonna have too do"... 
My dog could have just asked for smoke instead of eating the whole pack.
The difference between "INVOLVED" & "COMMITTED" is like an Egg & Bacon Breakfast, the chicken was INVOLVED and the pig was COMMITTED.
I can't say "rural" and its really frustrating
Harold Camping's response......appears to be nonexistent at the moment. Maybe he's in hiding, totally embarrassed by failure or he is at the bank counting his money.
Once a pun a time, I used to be terrific at wordplay.
was at a house recently of some people I didn't like when life afforded me the opportunity to empty their bottle of sexual lubrication and replace it with hand sanitizer, On the bright side they should be 99.9% Germ free
any1 know how to turn your body clock off?? this is just gettin ridiculous at this stage
"You can add 'Find & kill Osama' to the list of things that happened since Cubs last won World Series."
Are you ready, boots? Okay, well, let me know when you're ready.
happy Cinco de Drinko!
likes you. He will kill you last.
does not admit it...but I think i'm addicted to facebook...is there a web 2.0 rehab nearby?
not a tease....just a reminder of what you cant please
busier than a one legged river dancer
thinks everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege
the cost of living's going up, and the chance of livin's going down.
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Here's a secret tip for X-files fans: Drink two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place with all recollections of the previous nights events mysteriously "erased".
If anyone has trouble finding the key to my heart, I keep an extra set under the stones in my kidney. 