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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. 
Nothing in life is free.... Someone always pays!
Supports Bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Life isn't a garden...so stop being a hoe!
Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you're finished
On the road to success, and whoever in my way.............ROADKILL.......
boycotting mornings
going to jam out with her clam out
loves automatic doors. they make him feel like a jedi
...in a show of mourning MJ's death, Pro and amateur golfers alike are wearing one glove.
"Impotence" natures way of saying "No Hard Feelings"
wants to know if pregnant women in their ninth month are afraid to sneeze.
For the record, if my mother ever tells you she uses Oxycontin to remove stains, it's not true.
a picture speaks a thousand words.. but with photoshop, it tells a thousand lies..
BBC News: "Britons are the worst binge drinkers in Europe." - I'm sorry but I think you'll find we're actually the best.
So what you're saying is "sexist" isn't like "perfectionist" or "saxophonist" and I should take it off the resume.
Dear Stalker: Stop looking in my windows or I'll flash you......and believe me....it's not pretty!!!
Tired apostrophes risk falling into a comma.
it would be pretty sweet if reposts came with audio set to the Price is Right Losing Horn.
Married women think I'm way too awesome to be single. Single women don't give a sh!t what married women think. Life is still stupid. 