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   messageicon FACT: The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first Hockey Helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Ladies.....Quit Laughing.
←Rate | 09-16-2010 20:16 Comments (15)  


   messageicon My mirror and my camera have two completely different ideas of what I look like.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when I buy a hamster at the pet store, and it grows huge, becomes a rapper and steals my KIA...
←Rate | 12-27-2011 20:50 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone could get rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights. Grrr....
←Rate | 11-19-2011 13:14 by Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet more people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
←Rate | 11-27-2011 14:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son just spoke his first words to me: 'Dad, where the f**k have you been the last 20 years?!' It was so cute.
←Rate | 10-24-2011 20:51 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn't start out like the dance portion of the Thriller video I'm going to be pissed...........
←Rate | 06-02-2012 21:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Sir, could you please step out of the vehicle?" "I'm too drunk, Officer. You get in."
←Rate | 02-17-2012 20:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I called my local pizza joint last night. I asked for a thin crusty supreme. They sent me Diana Ross.
←Rate | 05-07-2012 08:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No. Standing as close to me as you possibly can, will not make the line move faster.
←Rate | 09-18-2011 02:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's nothing wrong with being short. You may be the last to know when it rains but you're the first to know when there is a flood.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 20:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there's a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.
←Rate | 08-10-2011 13:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just replaced the cat litter with 44 packages of pop rocks. And now we wait....
←Rate | 02-20-2014 17:00 by :D Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
←Rate | 08-07-2015 15:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fake friends are like shadows, always near you at your brightest moments, but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hours.
←Rate | 12-21-2010 20:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think that if I were a cannibal I'd only eat vegetarians, for the irony.
←Rate | 01-12-2011 08:29 by Kevin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere.
←Rate | 02-16-2010 19:55 by The FRED Comments (1)  


   messageicon Due to the shortage of great leaders, I have decided to follow myself.
←Rate | 03-20-2010 15:28 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders why the Trojan condom is named after the Trojan horse? Isn't that the horse that penetrated the roman walls then broke open spilling hundreds of men into the city?
←Rate | 03-30-2010 13:02 Comments (4)  


   messageicon my anger management class pisses me off..
←Rate | 11-15-2010 21:47 Comments (0)  



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