Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Fast Food was never intended to sustain a person indefinitely ..... Neither were Fast Food Jobs .... 
They shun Ryan Seacrest and give Kobe an Oscar. I guess the message is, don’t talk about it, just shut up and rape.
> Unsubscribe from LinkedIn > Delete email account > Sell house, live in woods > Find bottle in river > Has note inside > It's from LinkedIn
Coffee spelled backwards is eeffoc, This is why I don't give eeffoc until I've had my coffee!
Bruce Jenner must be so confused today
Nothing lightens up the G7 Summit like a little low-brow humor.
Bachelor is a guy who will never find out how many faults he has.
I choose my underwear for the day based on how likely I am to have sex. Today I’m wearing a used grocery bag I found floating across the highway.
Shout-out to Mother Nature for not giving snakes wings...
Paper jam is the least delicious of all preserves.
I’m not ashamed to say I will never be mature enough to help with school projects about Uranus.
No Grandma, “sausage fest” is not a new special breakfast at IHOP
Legally changing my name to Pumpkin Spice Latte so my wife will love me more.
Penicillin led to the decline of western syphilization.
“I will eat 3 oreos” I say to myself, as I open the bag
According to research, sex during pregnancy is always safe — unless your wife comes home and catches you.
True crime was invented to remind people that life could be worse
"Oh, Darwin! Oh, Scientific Method!" -things atheists say during sex.
Pro athletes are just modern day court jesters who are only here to entertain us.
I met a girl named Felicia tonight. Couldn't wait to tell her bye. 