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   messageicon All I did was walk by an Abercrombie and Fitch and now my name is Trent, my shirt is off, and I'm really into shell necklaces.
←Rate | 04-14-2012 14:47 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The record companies have done a good job of fighting piracy by releasing music no one wants to steal.
←Rate | 09-24-2012 08:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please don't say "Firecracker". It's very offensive. It is a Fire Caucasian. Thank you.
←Rate | 06-27-2013 14:52 by truebeachbabe Comments (1)  


   messageicon They say dolphins are the second smartest animal after humans, but I've never seen a dolphin with a face tattoo.
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:46 by Zinc Comments (4)  


   messageicon I like to keep bartenders on their toes by making up drinks on the spot. "Yeah, I'll take a Dirty Hammock."
←Rate | 09-19-2011 11:15 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I was a little kid, we didn't have cool video games to occupy us for hours... if I had a ROCK and a roll of CAPS...It was a Good Day!
←Rate | 02-09-2011 12:26 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon So you'll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year... Your move Weight Watchers...
←Rate | 01-05-2015 22:22 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Helen Keller wrote 12 books and I just put my shirt on inside out.
←Rate | 10-18-2014 09:58 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!
←Rate | 09-28-2009 22:29 by bigboyindiego Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that's how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
←Rate | 01-21-2011 17:49 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like to observe a moment of silence for all the innocent brain cells that lost their lives over the weekend.
←Rate | 09-20-2009 20:20 by LB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to spend Valentine's day with my ex..... Box 360
←Rate | 02-07-2012 00:48 by @austincreel Comments (0)  


   messageicon You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 09:22 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hardest things about beginning any new relationship has got to be learning how to fart quietly again.
←Rate | 03-07-2011 20:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear kids, there is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents love, Wikileaks
←Rate | 12-23-2010 05:17 Comments (4)  


   messageicon According to SOPA you can get five years for downloading a Michael Jackson song illegally, that's a year more than the doctor who killed him.
←Rate | 01-19-2012 03:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe you should eat make-up so you can be pretty on the inside.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 15:59 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone once said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, I’m pleased to announce the grand opening of my titty squeezing business!!
←Rate | 04-13-2014 16:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life isn't a fairy tale. It's a fill-in-the-blank choose your own adventure scratch & sniff colouring book with missing pages and random highlighted passages that make no sense to anyone but the author.
←Rate | 05-05-2014 10:53 by Udit Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I'm going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You'll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.”
←Rate | 03-16-2010 15:53 by Aaron Comments (0)  



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