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Who called them "homo erectus" and not... Wait, that's actually pretty funny. Good job guy who named them "homo erectus". 
rubix cube: the original fidget toy
Q:Do yo want to know how to tell if you're listening to a Jason Derulo song? A: He will tell you in the first 19 seconds.
One of the best feelings ever:
Waking up and seeing you still have a couple more hours to sleep.
[at an orgy] I'm starting to think that I'm the only one taking this book club seriously
My wife thinks I'm too nosey.....at least, that's what she wrote in her diary.
"I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol."
I've been building my son's trust for two yrs with high-fives. Today I'm going to hit him with a "too slow". Welcome to the real world, son.
Wife: Can you pick up milk?... Me: [lifts gallon] Yea sure, it's easy... Wife: I mean from the store.... Me: Umm ok, but I would imagine it weighs the same there too
Just met a kid named Denim today so yes, I would definitely like another drink.
The last thing someone who can't decide what to make for dinner needs is 101 different crock pot choices.
How come documentary makers can find drug makers and hitmen to interview but the police can’t find them?
I wish I could unlearn English for one day so I could hear how it sounds without meaning.
Steps to survive on a dessert island: 1. check spelling 2. if correct, enjoy
Yes ... I suppose I am one of the few people that actually love Fruit Cakes!!! ....Heck .... I only need a few more ..... this year I hope to get enough to complete building my Brick wall!!
Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks real cool, hanging from my car's rear view mirror.
What do I like most about people? Their dogs....
Subpoena...Such a silly word. Sounds like a term used to describe a man who is below average downstairs.
One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young, if they panic, you're old.
Facebook: Here's some other people you might know Me: Oh yes! I do know them! Facebook: Do you want to add them as friends? :) Me: oh God no 