Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 2 of 5226

   messageicon Some days I survive, other days I don't. It's no big deal either way.
←Rate | 07-16-2018 11:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer? You smart people just grinned; didn't you?
←Rate | 07-16-2018 09:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say two heads are better than one. Untill it's their baby.
←Rate | 07-16-2018 03:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sacha Baron Cohen's TV show, Who Is America?, is the greatest!
←Rate | 07-16-2018 00:52 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Hey Chicago...you can’t protest this one...the video speaks for itself!
←Rate | 07-15-2018 23:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was 10 years old, people that had over 50 seemed so old... wreckled... slow... I'm going to have 55 in a month.. it is not that bad! But people in their 90's look so old...
←Rate | 07-15-2018 22:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be careful if you are thinking of getting a rescue dog. My grandma got one and when she fell and couldn't get up. The rescue dog just sat there staring at her.
←Rate | 07-15-2018 22:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some sheep can't see past the Shepherd ...
←Rate | 07-15-2018 21:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congratulations to the French! Today heir defense lasted 90 minutes and they beat their World War II record...
←Rate | 07-15-2018 17:30 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yay! Now I can go back to saying the word "Soccer" without some pretentious fan reminding me that it's referred to as "Football" in other parts of the world.
←Rate | 07-15-2018 15:43 Comments (4)  


   messageicon The spectacle before us was indeed sublime.
←Rate | 07-15-2018 13:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wanna date a lady who has been through the worst,who has been lied to,cheated on,heart broken So that I can finish her off. 😒
←Rate | 07-15-2018 12:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Words and phrases I hope do not appear in my obituary: "Skeletal remains", "Dumpster", "Beyond recognition", "Decapitated", "Dental records", "Shallow grave", "Strewn", and "Suicide by Cop."
←Rate | 07-15-2018 09:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When all else fails, sue the EU. Hahahahaha!
←Rate | 07-15-2018 09:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The differance between flirting and sexual harrassment. If you're attrative it's flirting.
←Rate | 07-15-2018 04:47 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being ugly on the inside should change how you look on the outside.
←Rate | 07-15-2018 02:37 by Kyla Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I haven't had sex for weeks. And when I found out that she was having an affair, I asked her what does he have that I don't ? She said sex.
←Rate | 07-15-2018 01:29 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon At my wedding the minister asked me: Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? I said I do. He turn and look at her then back at me and said are you sure?
←Rate | 07-15-2018 00:46 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon what do you call it when a mom orders combo #5? ...mombo number 5 (now you're singing it)
←Rate | 07-14-2018 22:54 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men.... Try role reversal in bed with your wife. And you have the headache for once.
←Rate | 07-14-2018 22:32 by Jake Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left