Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon It doesn't matter if you're black or white, heterosexual or homosexual, man or woman because cats hate all of you.
←Rate | 07-26-2018 14:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
←Rate | 04-10-2018 05:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The batteries in my electric toothbrush died before I finished. I've never sympathized more with women in my life.
←Rate | 05-19-2018 08:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about being over 40 is discovering all the new regions of your body that can support hair life.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 14:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What’s it called when your hard work doesn’t pay off?
←Rate | 07-06-2018 02:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry..
←Rate | 07-18-2018 07:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you're happy now!!!
←Rate | 07-30-2018 19:28 by Truman Comments (2)  


   messageicon If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it my illegal logging operation is a success.
←Rate | 03-29-2018 14:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
←Rate | 04-12-2018 07:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only difference between a weekday and a weekend is which boss is telling me to do things.
←Rate | 05-11-2018 22:31 by @thecatwhisperer Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy hour leads to several hours of lying on the floor talking to my dog.
←Rate | 05-12-2018 12:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dating Tip: if she says she likes cats, push her plate off the table.
←Rate | 05-22-2018 07:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes I like to party. And by party I mean take naps.
←Rate | 06-09-2018 05:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think I am a fugitive on the run the way I react when there is a knock on my door.
←Rate | 06-17-2018 07:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Of course you can do a roundhouse kick!" - alcohol
←Rate | 06-19-2018 05:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son screamed like a little girl when he saw a spider so no paternity test was needed.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 05:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why isn't anyone at this beach lowering their sunglasses to check me out?
←Rate | 07-08-2018 10:11 Comments (5)  


   messageicon Thinking of making a horror movie titled Front Facing Camera
←Rate | 07-11-2018 01:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being ugly on the inside should change how you look on the outside.
←Rate | 07-15-2018 02:37 by Kyla Comments (0)  


   messageicon My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
←Rate | 07-18-2018 07:23 Comments (0)  



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