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   messageicon If I’m reading their lips correctly, it looks like my neighbors are having an argument about the creepy guy next door.
←Rate | 08-24-2020 14:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With the rubber gloves, face masks, face shields, condoms, and smell of Lysol…sex isn’t as fun as it used to be.
←Rate | 09-02-2020 10:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm amazed that my iPhone suddenly stopped working just in time as the new iPhone came out.
←Rate | 08-31-2020 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love Bruce Lee because he studied art and poetry and decided the most beautiful form of self expression is punching someone in the face
←Rate | 10-12-2020 08:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every Halloween I turn on Unchained Melody, and sit in front of a pottery wheel in the hopes that Patrick Swayze will return.
←Rate | 10-12-2020 08:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m preparing for Halloween early by pretending not to be home every time someone knocks the door.
←Rate | 10-14-2020 08:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on... I just don't get women.
←Rate | 07-14-2020 19:45 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
←Rate | 05-31-2020 09:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No, things are not getting worse. They are just getting more obvious.
←Rate | 07-19-2020 11:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Out of all my body parts, my eyeballs are in the best shape because I roll them like 300 times a day...
←Rate | 06-18-2020 13:05 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look, all I know is none of this sh*t was going on when Mtv still played music videos.
←Rate | 06-19-2020 08:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell yes I want to apply for your store credit card. Let’s go through the entire process now while the shoppers in line behind me fantasize about my brutal murder.
←Rate | 09-16-2020 08:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m like a cupcake: I’m short, round, mostly sweet and not everyone likes me.
←Rate | 08-24-2020 14:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At this point, if Pennywise tries to lure me into the sewer, I’m going.
←Rate | 09-14-2020 12:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A good Scotch should taste like how a haunted 17th century wardrobe smells.
←Rate | 09-16-2020 08:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We haven’t seen the full damage this epidemic will cause, that will happen in about five to seven months with all of the gender reveal parties.
←Rate | 09-30-2020 15:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’ve had a lot more interest from women since I’ve been forced to wear a mask and I don’t know how to feel about that.
←Rate | 07-14-2020 09:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The further a society drifts from the truth, The more it will hate those who speak it...
←Rate | 08-16-2020 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people shouldn’t be informed when this quarantine is over.
←Rate | 09-17-2020 07:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to brag but I used hand soap before it was trending.
←Rate | 03-06-2020 06:47 Comments (0)  



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